


Your Gallery In My Head

by nabongwater



Series: Yooniverse [2]
Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff without Plot, Slice of Life, first person POV, single mother Nayeon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22105060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nabongwater/pseuds/nabongwater
Summary: Jeongyeon recalls the most pivotal year of her life, starting with the fifth time she met Nayeon's unyielding three-year-old and ending with Chaeyoung embarrassing Jeongyeon and Nayeon in front of their wedding guests.
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Minatozaki Sana, Im Nayeon/Yoo Jeongyeon
Series: Yooniverse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1591096
Comments: 8
Kudos: 61





	1. Spring/Summer

**Author's Note:**

> I started this in May 2018 and then dropped it months later, then picked it up again, then dropped it again. Basically, I'm posting this to hopefully inspire me to complete the other two chapters. Enjoy!

**🌱**

I awkwardly squatted in front of the toddler before me. He looked up from his toy train, kept his big brown eyes on me for three uncomfortable seconds, then went back to playing.

“Uh, hi, Daeul! Nice to meet you!” I greeted anyway, hoping, _begging_ he would look up again. After getting nothing, I scratched my head and looked up at my girlfriend, Nayeon, who watched the interaction carefully. She didn’t look too worried.

“Try again,” she mouthed encouragingly and gave me an excited thumbs up that accidentally flipped a strand of her black hair to the back. She really was _that_ excited.

I cleared my throat and waved at Daeul, trying to get his attention again. “Hi hi, my name is Jeongyeon! What’s yours?” I hoped he didn’t remember that I had previously said his name, or else he’d think I was a dummy.

Daeul finally looked up at me, sporting a bored expression. I smiled at him and outstretched my hand, hoping he’d take my hand, or at least a finger, you know, like most toddlers do. Instead he stared at it and yawned. Then he began to whimper, and did so for a while, until the whimpers turned into crying. Nayeon came to the rescue and picked him up, gently rocking him until he stopped crying.

“Aw, are you sleepy, sweetie? It sure is late. Let’s get you to bed. First, we have to brush your teeth, okay? Let’s go!” She whooshed him away like an airplane, but not before quickly sending me an apologetic look. I smiled weakly before she turned the corner, understanding that she had to take care of her son and put him to bed. 

I stood up and winced when my knees creaked. After closing the window, feeling like the warm night air might have made him even sleepier, I sat on Nayeon’s couch. I waited for twenty minutes before my girlfriend rushed into the living room and jumped onto my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck.

“Aaaand he’s asleep! You got him so bored that he went to sleep without a hitch!” 

I gasped. My own girlfriend! “Babe! What the hell?”

Nayeon laughed and buried her face into my shoulder. “Sorry, sorry! It’s just... so funny to me how quickly he wants to go to bed whenever you come over. Usually it’s a struggle to even get him to brush his teeth, let alone have the desire to sleep!” She nudged me with her elbow. “You know what? From now on, if I’m ever having problems with putting him to sleep, I’ll just call you over. I swear he gets bored at the mere _mention_ of your name.”

I laughed and pretended to be hurt. “Nayeon, stoooop! Oh my god, if I wanted to get roasted, I could have just called Chaeng or Dahyun!”

Nayeon giggled and nodded, patting my back as she did. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m honestly just trying to cheer you up.”

“You’re what?” I asked incredulously, opening my eyes wide. “Did I hear that right?”

“I know that it’s a little frustrating with Daeul, Jeongyeon,” she said after controlling her laughter. “That was my best attempt at...un-frustrating you.” She smirked at me and settled more comfortably into my lap. 

“It did help a bit. But you know that it’s not that Daeul himself is frustrating, it’s more like the fact that he doesn’t like me. It hurts my pride a bit.” All of those years I spent with my younger cousins made me think that every single child in the entire world would love me. “Kids usually run to me, and I love them and play with them, so to not have that reciprocated is… very foreign to me.” 

Nayeon pursed her lips and nodded. “I understand. But remember! We’ve only tried doing this a few times! He’s only met you five times! He’ll warm up to you, I know it. My baby is a sweet kid. You’ve seen how he is with me. If you’re patient and try your best to actually get to know him, you’ll get results, baby.”

“Plus,” I added, trying to stay cool at the _‘baby_ ,’ “the other times we tried, it was also almost his bedtime. Let’s maybe try a better time, hmm?”

Nayeon gave me the biggest, most enthusiastic smile and lightly smacked my chest. “Exactly! There we go! I’m rooting for you, okay? I know you can do this.”

I leaned back into Nayeon’s sofa and sighed, so glad that she was so positive about this whole thing. We’d been dating for ten months at the time, and during the first nine months, each time I’d come over to Nayeon’s, Daeul wasn’t there because he was spending time with his dad, Nayeon’s ex-husband. This was actually the first month where I actually got to see him and try to get to know him.

“Thank you. For rooting for me and for cheering me up. Or, well, _trying_ to cheer me up with whatever the hell that was.” That got me a cute little ‘ _hey!’_ from her, but she didn’t fight me on it because she knew I was right. Secretly, though, it actually did cheer me up. I liked being teased by her. I found it extremely cute the way her front teeth exposed themselves when she played around with me. It’s like the same smile, but 1000% times more mischievous, more playful. I would never tell her about it, though, or else she’d make me work to see that smile. This way, I got it for only the price of a roast session.

During the time that I had meditated in her mischievous smile, she’d leaned against me and closed her eyes. She had a small smile on her face.

“What are you thinking about? You know what they say, he who laughs to himself is remembering his evil deeds. So come on, share your evil deeds with me.” I nudged her a bit, making sure it didn’t move her too much. She seemed very comfortable.

“Mmm. I’m not remembering any evil deeds. I’m just very, very happy.” She kept her eyes closed and continued speaking. “I’m happy that I met someone that’s so willing to be part of my life, so much so that she’s trying to get to know my kid. You have no idea how hard it is to find someone that’s totally okay with dating someone that has children.”

“Yeah, some people think that it means more baggage or something, right? A kid signifies a past relationship, usually a… a-”

“-A failed one. Yeah.” She finished my sentence, probably noting that I wasn’t sure if I could say that without offending her. “Exactly. Or they think the ex-partner will be a crazy jealous nutjob that they can’t deal with. Sometimes that’s simply not the case, but they don’t care to find out. And that’s why I’m so thankful for you. It’s only been five times, but I can see that you really are interested in him.”

“And not just because I wanna impress you. I’m really, truly interested in getting to know Daeul.” I didn’t know what to say after that. What she said was so heartwarming and refreshing to my ears. Instead of saying anything, I just held her tighter and kissed her forehead. Then, I knew exactly what to say. “There’s no need to thank me for something I love doing.”

Nayeon giggled, quickly kissing me on the lips and putting a few strands of my brown hair behind my ear, giggling a little more when they fell right back. “You’re so cute. I love you, Jeongyeon.”

My eyes welled up with tears. Would I _ever_ stop crying when she told me that she loved me? “I love you, Nayeon,” I replied, smiling tenderly at her and kissing her back.

🌼

Nayeon and I stood side by side in front of the sink, more or less washing the dishes. (We were definitely splashing each other more than anything.) 

“They got along so well, which is insane to me. Tzuyu never talks, _ever_ , unless she’s with us or at her job. And that’s just because she’s practically the boss.”

I shrugged, not too surprised that Chaeyoung had gotten her to loosen up and joke around as well. “That’s Chaeyoung for ya. Nobody can resist her youthful charm. I’m actually surprised it took her that long to make Tzuyu smile.”

“Yeah. They’re the same age too, right?” Nayeon asked, handing me a plate.

“I think so. It must have been a factor,” I answered, taking it and almost dropping it.

Nayeon didn’t notice, just nodded thoughtfully. “What’s Chaeyoung’s career? I feel as if I’d seen her before, but I can’t place her anywhere.”

“She’s a model. Small, still, but she’s getting her face out there. She recently became the face of a local clothing brand! Is that how you’ve seen her? They have an Instagram that pays for ads.”

“Ah! That _is_ where I’ve seen her!” Nayeon snapped her fingers, satisfied. “I knew it was something local. That’s so cool! I love their designs, and the clothes are really pretty. In the ads I’ve seen, she totally makes them look even prettier, so she’s definitely going places!”

I was really pleased to hear that. Chaeyoung was my closest friend, so hearing that my girlfriend has a lot of faith in her modeling skills sent me to high heavens. “Chaeyoung has been a little insecure about her modeling skills lately, so I’ll be sure to tell her that! And what does Tzuyu do?”

“How do I explain this… She makes...glass?” Nayeon half asked, half said. “Like, a glass blower? I’m not sure if that’s the name of her job. She makes pretty glass stuff for a lot of customers, basically. You see that centerpiece on my table? She made that for me!” She pointed at said centerpiece and my jaw dropped. 

“No way! That’s so cool! Chaeyoung loves artsy stuff, maybe they talked about their jobs first and found out they had common interests!”

“Maybe!” Nayeon chirped, very happy to hear about Chaeyoung possibly taking an interest in Tzuyu’s passion. “Most of our friends seemed to have stuff in common. It made it go so well, Jeongyeon. I really thought that this dinner party would go wrong. You know how it is with some people. Not everyone gets along, and that’s fine, but you know… These are our friends! If your friends and mine don’t get along, it could, you know, make things hard. Awkward.”

“Yeah, I get you. But I knew it would go great from the get-go, because I know how my friends are. I knew Dahyun would charm the shit out of everyone, because everyone loves kindergarten teachers. They have certain auras to them that make them likeable. Momo was practically vibrating from excitement about meeting your friends Sana and Mina, and Chaeyoung gets along with everyone.”

Nayeon chuckled, probably remembering one of the many silly jokes Chaeyoung told throughout the night. “Yeah. I know. It’s not like I didn’t trust my friends. It was nerves in general. You had already met Sana, so I knew that wasn’t going to be a problem. Mina laughed at every joke you and Chaeyoung told, so that’s a good sign, and we both know how it went with Tzuyu.”

She paused and looked like she was cringing inwardly.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, setting down a spoon. 

“I just remembered about Jihyo.”

I almost scratched my head, but remembered my fingers were wet and soapy. “Jihyo? Which one was she? The one in the denim top?”

“Yeah, that was her. She texted me a little after everyone left, to apologize. Apparently she didn’t want you to think she hated you or anything.”

I nodded, understanding. Jihyo had also joined the dinner party, but she had remained silent and stiff, not joking much, unlike the others. Admittedly, I had worried a little bit, but I figured since it was our first time meeting, I’d just have to work harder for her to like me in the future. “Aw, was she just nervous? Was that why she was to quiet?”

“Yeah, which is so funny to me, because she has the loudest voice in my friend group. I guess she just didn’t want to say or do anything wrong and give you a bad impression, but ended up doing the opposite because of that.” Nayeon shook the excess water off her hands and smiled at me as she dried them on a towel. “This isn’t the only time we’ll hang out as nine, though, so she’ll have more opportunities to show you the real Jihyo. Hopefully she doesn’t scare you off with that loudspeaker voice of hers.”

“Nah, she won’t. We definitely need to hang out again. I don’t think I got to talk to Tzuyu enough, either, since Chaeyoung took all of her attention.” I dried my hands off too and looked around at Nayeon’s dining room, checking to see if there was anything else that needed cleaning. After I was sure we were completely done cleaning up, I continued the conversation. “Let’s make it soon, though, because I have plans to make sure each and every single one of your friends loves me.”

Nayeon just stared at the wall, not really listening. Or, I guess she kind of was, because she blinked and looked at me mysteriously before saying “Yeah, very soon.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, watching a mischievous smile spread across her face. “What are you up to?”

Nayeon cocked her head and grinned. “Nothing much. You’ll see.”

I sniffed, offended that she was keeping a very clearly juicy secret from me, but I let it go. I’d learn about it in time. “Fine. I’m going home now, though, okay? It’s late, and I have to show up at the bakery really soon tomorrow.”

Nayeon pouted but nodded, knowing it was time for me to go. She strutted up to me and kissed me, then thanked me for helping her clean up and wash the dishes.

“No problem. You know I’ll always be here to help you.”

The smile on her face made it harder to leave. 

☀️

Nayeon smiled at Daeul, and I watched as she walked backwards, her hand continuously waving until her back hit Tzuyu’s car. Instead of stuffing her suitcase into the car like she was supposed to, she pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of us as we stood on the driveway.

“Aaaak! You two look so cute! I can’t believe I’m leaving such an adorable sight!” 

_Snap! Snap!_

“Ugh, I love it!”

_Snap! Snap!_

I rolled my eyes and said “Nayeon, please, you’re making this harder for Daeul…” I adjusted the boy on my hip as I waved her away. “Hurry, before he starts crying.”

“Please do. I’m _this close_ to just leaving you here, woman!” That was Tzuyu’s joking voice, so I wasn’t too worried about her actually leaving her. However, though she may have been joking, I could practically see the patience run out as she watched Nayeon stretch to take a landscape picture of Daeul and I. 

Nayeon squealed once more, taking a few quick pictures, and finally shoved her suitcase into the backseat of the car. “Sorry, Tzuyu! You’re right, Jeong. It took such a long time to calm him down enough to get into your arms.”

Just as Nayeon was about to climb into the passenger seat, she paused and looked at us. I saw a pout form on her face and knew what she was about to do before she did it.

Tzuyu slammed the back of her head against the car’s headrest when she saw Nayeon run back to us. If she could curse Nayeon out, she would have, but simply stated, she’s not that kind of person. Instead she honked her horn and tapped her watch in an exaggerated manner, her eyes wide and her nose flared.

“Yeah, hold on!” Nayeon turned to us and cupped my face. “I’m going to miss you, baby. So much.”

My heart softened a bit. “You’re only leaving for a week, Nayeon…” I said that like it was no big deal, but this would be the first time in a really, really long time that we wouldn’t see each other daily. I knew I was going to miss her as soon as she got into the car. _If_ she ever did.

She bent me over enough for our foreheads to touch and she shook her head. “A week is so long. I think I’ll go crazy as soon as I sit down and put on my seatbelt.”

I laughed at how alike our minds were and gently patted her cheek. “Go, Nayeon. Tzuyu looks like she’s about to step on the gas with all of your stuff.” Nayeon just sighed and kept her forehead connected to mine. 

I know she hated having to go, but it was important. Her friend Mina needed someone to help her take care of her mother, who was terribly sick. Nayeon and her friends decided to rotate and take turns helping Mina care of her mother. It was a good reason to leave, but it didn’t make anything easier.

“Hey,” I whispered. Nayeon pouted and closes her eyes. “I’ll miss you too, Nayeon. You know I will. But you gotta go. For Mina.”

She sighed again before wistfully pulling away. “Yeah, I know. For Mina and her mom.” 

Tzuyu beeped once more, a murderous look on her face. Nayeon bit her finger and gave me a scared look. “Gotta go. I love you, please take care of yourself and Daeul. And Daeul, I love you too, cutie. Take care of Jeongyeon, okay?” 

Daeul rubbed his eye and reached out for her. Nayeon looked like she wanted to reach back so badly, but she stopped herself and started walking backwards again. She mouthed some goodbyes before climbing into the car.

Tzuyu seems to say something to her, probably _Fucking finally!_ , as she simultaneously rolled her eyes and drove away. 

“Say bye-bye, Daeul,” I said to the kid in my arms. “Say ‘Bye-bye, mommy!’”

Daeul pointed to the ground, asking me to put him down, so I did. He walked toward the road, stopping short of where the driveway ended and waved goodbye.

“Bye-bye…” he said, looking far off in the distance. _Jeez_ , I thought to myself, _he’s just as dramatic as his mother._

Taking a deep breath, I walked over to him and took his hand. “Let’s go inside, yeah? It’s getting late.”

Letting go of my hand and pointed in the general direction of where Tzuyu’s car disappeared. “Mommy?” 

“She’ll be back, don’t worry! Mommy just has to help her friend with something, okay?” 

He nodded and curled his fingers around mine, allowing me to lead him back inside the house. 

Admittedly, this made my heart jump a bit. Daeul hardly ever acknowledged me, even if it had been months since I first introduced myself to him. The most he would do was wave hello and goodbye when Nayeon asked him to. Him initiating the contact, even if it was just grabbing my hand, was very meaningful.

🌊

I didn't really realize how much I would miss Nayeon until the third day, when she finally found the time to call.

“Hey!” She said, her face filling up the entire phone screen. “I never thought I’d–wait, hold on, let me move somewhere else.”

I stared at Nayeon as she moved around with a wide smile on my face. Who knew I could miss her this much? 

“There we go. Sorry, I just didn’t want to bother Mina’s mother, since she was in the bedroom next door. I’m in the kitchen now. Um, let me see, where was I?” she asked with a laugh, “Oh right. As I was saying, I never thought I’d find the time to call you guys. I know I said I’d call immediately but…” 

I shook my head, knowing Nayeon was doing what she was supposed to. “I understand, babe. Taking care of someone can be time consuming.”

Nayeon nodded, a lost look making its way into her eyes. “It is. Her mom is worse than I had imagined. The doctors aren’t very hopeful when it comes to Mina’s mother, so it’s also hard to see Mina break down every now and then. Sometimes she’s fine and can help her mom with a straight face, but I guess sometimes she remembers that her mom has a very low chance of living longer than a year, and she just...loses it. She loves her mom very dearly.” She seemed unable to find words to say after this, so I spoke up.

“So what’s up with her mom? I’m not sure if I’m allowed to ask, or if you’re allowed to talk about it, so if you can’t, it’s fine. I’m just curious.” 

Nayeon sighed and looked away from the camera. “I guess when Mina called me asking for help, I assumed she had some terminal illness or something like that, but it turns out, Mina’s mother isn’t sick. Not really.”

I raised my eyebrows at this. She saw that and continued. “Well, the doctors say there is absolutely no sickness within Mina’s mother. No Alzheimer’s, no high blood pressure, nothing that could cause seizures. You know, no _sickness_ sicknesses.”

“Wait, but that doesn’t make sense.Then wha-“ I began to say, but Nayeon cut me off.

“Age, Jeongyeon. Old age. She’s dying of old age. Of course, that’s just the general way of saying it. It’s more like the cells in her body aren’t working as well as they should. They don’t heal as quickly, you know?” She took a second to breathe in and compose herself. Clearly it was an upsetting topic, which was understandable. Three days with people who are suffering can take a toll on a person, especially when they feel helpless.

“Recently,” she continued, “Mina’s mother was hospitalized because she wouldn’t wake up. That simple. She wasn’t in a coma. She snored and everything, but nothing could wake her up. Three days later, they found a nasty smelling bed sore on her back area. They performed surgery on it, and successfully treated it. She woke up immediately. The doctors found out that the bed sore had gotten so bad, so deep, that it started to infect Mina’s mother’s blood. She was being poisoned by her own blood.”

I said nothing. Was there anything to say?

“Mina’s mother can’t get up anymore. She can’t walk. She’s getting many bed sores, and we’re all worried they’re going to do the same thing the other one did. She’s constantly in danger, Jeongyeon.”

I nodded, trying to keep cool, but really, I wasn’t sure what to say because I was slightly freaking out. That sounded terrifying. 

“Mr. Myoui, Mina’s father, is having a hard time too, and so is Mina’s brother, as you can imagine.” For what seemed like the millionth time since we first started the call, Nayeon sighed and looked in my direction. “This sounds awful, but I can’t wait to leave. I love helping Mina and I love keeping Mrs. Myoui’s company, but it’s- it’s- well, you know what I mean, right?”

I nodded. I understood what she meant, even though I couldn’t explain it either. 

Nayeon looked away from the camera to somewhere in front of her. My guess is that someone, probably Mina, came into the room. “What?” She asked the person in front of her. “Oh, yeah, I’m FaceTiming Jeongyeon. Wanna see her?”

I sat up and quickly fixed myself before Mina stepped into view.

“Hiya, Jeongyeon!” She exclaimed and covered her mouth, giggling to Nayeon. “Oh my, Jeongyeon, usually the FaceTime screens make people look ugly, but that sure didn’t happen to you.”

I gritted my teeth, trying to take the compliment instead of saying something self-deprecating. “Haha, thank you, Mina. You’re very pretty too!” Was that a weird thing to say? Maybe it was, but I wasn’t sure of what else to reply with. She really caught me off guard. Besides, she had said I was pretty first, so it would have felt rude to not say it back, especially since she truly was pretty despite the terrible pixelation.

Surprisingly, the conversation went well after the initial awkward start. We didn’t have much time to talk, but Mina told me that she wanted us all to meet up again. She promised it would be soon, just not right now. (“Maybe another time, when things are...less stressful.” I could hear the sadness in those words.) I agreed and told her that I would love to see her and all of our friends again.

When Mina excused herself, she told Nayeon that it was time to feed her mother. Nayeon made a face that I couldn’t quite read and told Mina that she’d be there in a bit, that she just wanted to say goodbye to me before going.

“Why are two people required to feed Mrs. Myoui?” I asked once I was sure Mina had left.

Nayeon pursed her lips and rubbed her temples. “Three, actually. Long story. I’ll tell you later, when I call again. Okay?”

“That’s fine. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about before leaving?”

“Yes, actually. How are you and Daeul doing? I was kind of hoping you two would get along a bit better now that Daeul didn’t have me to take care of him. You know, now that he has to depend on you. I thought it would make you guys closer.”

I grimaced. “It’s more or less the same. He held my hand once after you left, and he talks to me more, but that’s just to ask me to eat and get his toys out. Stuff like that.”

Nayeon frowned sadly. I knew she expected more, but it was harder to get to Daeul than we both expected. It was strange to see a three year old be so closed off.

“Hey,” I said, reaching out to touch her face. My fingers tapped on the touchscreen of my phone. 

_Right,_ I thought to myself, _this is a FaceTime call._

“Hey,” I said again, shoving the sadness down and out of sight for now, ”But this is progress right? Don’t be sad! Listen, today, as soon as I hang up, I’m gonna try to play with him more, if he lets me. He’s not crying at the sight of me like he used to, right? So I’ll use that to my advantage and show him that I’m fun and cool!”

Nayeon’s frown turned into a small smile. She shook her head and said “Fun and cool, huh? Good luck convincing him of that.”

“H-hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Her teasing me told me that she was okay again, at least enough to joke around, which was good enough. Comfortable with leaving her to attend to Mrs. Myoui now, I smiled at the camera and said “Hey, cutie, you should probably go now. Don’t you worry about Daeul and I, okay? You’ve got enough to stress about over there with Mina and Tzuyu. Take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, I should, you’re right. I’ll call again when I have time, okay? Tell Daeul that I love him and that I’ll be back soon!”

“I will! He loves you too!”

After saying goodbye, we hung up. I put down my phone and sat back in Nayeon’s couch, glancing over at Daeul, who was still playing in the yard. 

It felt good to talk to Nayeon again after a few days of zero contact. The problem was that it reminded me of how much I missed her. After three days of not seeing her, I had convinced myself that I was fine, that it really wasn’t that bad. But after getting to see her again, getting a little taste of what I missed— it was kind of painful.

I was a little embarrassed to admit to myself that I missed her. It felt clingy. What kind of loser missed her girlfriend– one that she had seen almost every day for nearly a year– after not seeing her for only three days? I hated it. But there was no lying to myself. As I sat there in the living room, it really hit me how much I needed her there. Was it alright for me to miss her this much without it becoming too much? I’d definitely need to work on that.

“Ugh, come back already,” I said out loud, a sob forming in my throat. “I miss you.”

At that exact moment, I felt something buzz next to me. After the initial shock, I held up my phone. “Nayeon? What the hell?” Had she felt my internal struggle somehow and called again to comfort me? 

This time it was a phone call, not a FaceTime call, though. So what was it, then?

“H-hello? Nayeon?” I said as I held the phone up to my ear. “Babe, what’s up? You _just_ hung up!”

“Hello? Oh, Jeongyeon! Baby, I forgot to remind you that Daeul’s father is going to pick him up tomorrow for the weekend. You remember that I told you about that?”

 _No, I had completely forgotten about that,_ but once she reminded me, the memory of her asking me if it was okay flooded back into my brain. How could I have forgotten such an important thing?!

“Jeongyeon? Can you hear me?”

“Uh– Yeah! I hear you! I was just, uh, trying to remember that. And yes, now I do. I mean, I remember now, you telling me about that. I had completely forgotten, to be honest with you. So you reminding was great.”

“Great! I know you’re probably a little nervous about it.” 

“More than just ‘a little’, Nayeon,” I said, deciding to be honest with her. “It’s awkward to speak to the man that you used to be with, you know?”

Nayeon laughed a bit at that, making me feel a little silly. “No worries, he’s really kind. You’ll find you have a lot more in common with him than you think.”

“You mean besides having been in your pants?” I asked, using humor to distract me from the fact that I was going to meet Daeul’s father in less than 24 hours. Damn my terrible memory for making me forget! If I had remembered, I would have been able to prepare myself mentally for that!

“Yes, Jeongyeon, more than just that, jeez.” I heard Mina’s voice again, then Nayeon said “Okay, I really do have to go now. Mina said Tzuyu needs more help. I just called to remind you and to wish you luck, though you really don’t need it. I promise you he won’t give you a hard time. I forgot to say this earlier, so I’m glad I had the opportunity to call you again. I love you, Jeongyeon. So much.”

My heart warmed up again. How many times had she said that in the year that we’ve been together? It felt amazing every single time she did, and I wondered if I’d ever get tired of it. Hopefully not. “I love you just as much, Nayeon.”

After she hung up, I no longer had any time to cry about missing her. Nayeon’s ex-husband was going to come by tomorrow and I had to make sure I had all of Daeul’s essentials and toys packed.

The next day was hectic, and it was all thanks to my dumb self. When it was nearly time for his father to arrive, I had already prepared all of Daeul’s stuff, so the only thing stressing me out by that time was my own mind. I was worried sick, imagining that he’d look at me and laugh, asking “ _This_ is the person that replaced me?” I never thought of myself as an insecure person, but just the thought of that happening made my skin crawl. 

Of course, I didn’t know what had happened between Nayeon and her ex. I didn’t know why they had split, if they mutually agreed to end things, if they still talked or if he still felt anything for her. In fact, I had no idea who the hell he was or what he looked like. Nayeon never talked about it and I never thought about asking about it, so really, I was pretty clueless about him.

One of the few things I _did_ know about him was that Nayeon didn’t hate him. Why would she so willingly give her child to a man that she detested, even if it was his child as well? Plus, she had said that he and I had a lot in common, something I doubt she’d say if he was a horrible dude.

I also knew that he loved Daeul a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean he loved him _a lot_. He never missed a day when it came to taking care of him, and half of Daeul’s room was filled with toys just from his father. Daeul was a little artist, and though he drew egg-people, even I could tell that he always drew his father smiling and holding his hand. All of that was enough for me to know that his father loved him very much.

I froze when I heard the doorbell ring. 

He was here, and my soul felt like it was nowhere near.

As I walked to open the door, I practiced lines in my head. _Hey, hi, I’m Jeongyeon!_ Should I mention I’m Nayeon’s girlfriend? Would that sound territorial and competitive, like as if I was shoving it in his face? I wasn’t sure, so I decided I’d avoid doing that.

He rang the doorbell again, prompting me to finally open the door. 

Before me stood a tall man with black hair, around my age. “Hey,” he said. “I’m...Daeul’s father. Is this Jeongyeon?”

I nodded awkwardly and motioned for him to come inside. We sat down on the couch as I explained to him why Daeul wasn’t up and ready. I stiffly said “Daeul is asleep right now, I think, so…”

Just as I those words escaped my lips, Daeul walked out of his room, blanket in one hand, the other one rubbing his eyes. 

Both of us stood up reflexively to go to him, then stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do as we looked at each other. “Go ahead. He’s probably up because he heard your voice,” I said, sitting back down.

“Hey, buddy!” The man lowered himself until he was on the floor, then crawled over to him like a dog. Daeul seemed to like this, as he ran away laughing. “Come back here and say hi to me! Come back here!”

They stayed playing like that for a while, Daeul and his father chasing each other around the coffee table. I felt a little ridiculous as I watched it happen. Eventually Daeul got tired, though, and sat down on the floor next to my feet.

“Hi…” I said, waving at him. “Good morning.”

“Hello,” Daeul said back.

My heart raced. This was the first time he talked to me, when it wasn’t asking for something, of course.

Daeul seemed to regain enough energy to get up quickly and run to his room. We both walked after him, finding him already on the floor with his construction paper and crayons laid out on the floor.

Daeul’s father squatted by him and tried to pick him up to leave, but Daeul was absolutely not having it. His face twisted angrily and his eyes threatened to spill tears. His father tried this two times before looking at me helplessly. “Hey, can I stay for a while? He really does _not_ want to go until he finishes.”

 _No. No. Please leave. Your presence is making me uncomfortable._ “Yeah! I don’t mind at all.” I ignored my own protesting, because really, the man hadn’t done anything against me. I was just scared.

I hurriedly pulled out one of the chairs meant for Nayeon from Daeul’s closet and offered it to his father. He took the pink chair graciously as I sat on the toddler’s tiny red bed, hearing it creak under my weight.

“Well, let me introduce myself! My name is Sanggyun. I’m not sure if you knew that already or not,” he laughed out half heartedly. 

“I’m Jeongyeon, and I definitely know you knew that already,” I joked, trying to relax. It wasn’t working. My back was still stiff. It was starting to hurt.

“That’s right! Nayeon told me, just in case. So… how are you and Nayeon doing? How long have you two been together?” He asked that innocently enough, so I decided to answer him.

“Well… It’s July now, right? So last month was our first year anniversary since we made it official. And we’re doing really well. I love her a lot.” I wondered if this was too much information. It didn’t seem so, but… “And you, uh, S-Sanggyun?”

He smiled kindly, flashing his teeth at me for a brief second before answering. “I’m great too! I’ve been with my boyfriend for about six months now and, maybe it’s too soon to say this, but I’m really in love right now. I think I want to marry him.”

The shock after hearing those words was insane. For some reason, that was the least expected thing he could have said to me, and I wasn’t even expecting him to say much at all. 

I just- I didn’t think Nayeon’s ex was _gay..!_

Sanggyun rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me, Nayeon hasn’t told you a thing yet, huh?”

I nodded, and that’s all I could do, because my jaw was still on the floor.

“Well, I’m gay. That’s the reason Nayeon and I got a divorce. It’s crazy how she didn’t tell you about how it all happened. It’s a wild story, and Nayeon loves those.”

“Yeah, she probably thought I’d find it awkward,” I finally replied when I found my voice. “And I hate to say this, but now I want to know everything. Not to intrude on your personal life or anything, but it’s quite a shock, to say the least.”

Sanggyun chuckled. “Of course you do! You’re totally in the dark. I’m sure that Nayeon did this on purpose though. She probably planned on you and I talking at some point about this.” I believed it. Nayeon is as mysterious as she is open, and her planning on us meeting and getting to know each other was not in the least bit surprising.

“I’ll tell you, because I love telling a good story. Also, well, because Nayeon clearly wants me to. So let’s get into it!” He took a deep breath, readying himself for whatever he was about to tell me by furiously rubbing his hands together. 

“Okay. So. Nayeon and I dated as soon as we graduated from high school. It was perfect. People said we were the perfect couple, too. I thought I was dating the girl I loved, because seeing her made me happy. I always looked forward to the days when we could meet up and hang out. _Everyone_ told me that that was love, so I believed them. After a year of dating, we got married.”

“Were you two friends during high school?” I asked, hoping he didn’t mind the interruption.

“Yeah, actually! Even though we already knew each other super well as friends, we decided to get married after a year just to get to know each other as _lovers.”_

Hearing him say that made a small sliver of something seep into my bones. 

“For a few months after the wedding, everything was fine, I guess. I felt uncomfortable sometimes, but I tried to ignore it. Eventually, those ‘alright’ days turned into the darkest ones of my life. Nayeon was giving me love that I could not for the life of me reciprocate. I felt sick, guilty, gross.”

My hands curled around the blanket under me. Was this when he was still unsure about his sexuality? Was it internalized homophobia that was making him feel so sick?

“Then, Nayeon became pregnant, and had Daeul. Everything stabilized for a while, but just like last time, it only took a few months for the depression to return. I spent my days thinking and crying, until one day I realized that, to me, Nayeon was nothing more than my best friend. The guilt was, as you can imagine, unbearable. Married to her for _this_ long only to realize that I didn’t love her like that? Knowing I had wasted so much of her time? It killed me.”

I looked over at Daeul, who was still drawing. Did he understand any of what was being said?

Sanggyun continued. “It was worse because I finally accepted I wasn’t attracted to women at all…”

“You didn’t know you were gay before?”

“I mean, I had an inkling before, but not really. I looked at men differently, but I didn’t really know what it meant. What the feeling _actually_ signified. One night, I couldn’t sleep a wink. Nayeon stayed up with me, not knowing why I was so distraught, trying her best to comfort me, and I felt like I didn’t deserve it. I thought she’d hate me for being gay and for wasting her time. Still, I confessed to everything that night. We both cried like babies. I asked her at one point, ‘Do you hate me?’ to which she replied, ‘No, of course not. You being gay is perfectly fine and it’s not your fault you were misled about love.’”

“Wow…” I shook my head, surprised by all of this. “She was right. Everyone made you think that your feelings of friendship toward her were romantic or something. But it was just, like, intense platonic love, or something, right?”

“Exactly. This will probably sound dumb to you, but I honestly couldn’t differentiate the feelings.”

“No,” I said, feeling bad for him. “It’s never happened to me, but I can imagine that if you’re told all your life that _this_ feeling actually means _this,_ that you’ll be confused about it in your adult life.”

“Yeah,” he said, looking up as if he was trying to remember what happened next, “After that, we decided to divorce immediately. For her sake and mine. That way we both could live our lives truthfully and happily, me out of the closet and her not feeling unloved anymore. It was easy, both because the lawyer was great, but also because we both wanted it.”

 _So that’s what had happened_. It was a lot, and I would definitely have to sleep on all of this information, you know, to let it all sink in, but it was all interesting and important. It gave me more insight on the type of person my girlfriend was and how she handled such a crisis.

“Much later, she visited me and came out to me as bisexual! She said she was inspired both by me and by this someone she was friends with. Some girl she’d met at Sana’s party.” He quirked his eyebrow at me, waiting for me to realize that he was alluding to me.

“Wait–me? Really?” 

“Yeah! And... that’s it! That’s the end of our story. I’m really happy now with my boyfriend! Six months of pure bliss!” He pulled out his phone and showed me his lock screen. The face that looked at Sanggyun’s lovingly was oddly familiar.

“Wait. Wait! Is that…” _It was._ I’d seen that face before, in a family picture that one of Nayeon’s friends had shown me.

“Th-that’s Kenta! As in, Mina’s gay cousin Kenta!”

Sanggyun suppressed a laugh, finding my reaction hilarious. “The one and only,” he replied, pocketing his phone.

“Wow…” Mina’s cousin and Nayeon’s ex? I never thought I’d hear anything like it.

“Yeah, wow. It’s somewhat of a tragic story, but hey! At least it has a great ending! Both Nayeon and I are content. We don’t talk very often, but when we do, I tell her about how I’m doing with my boyfriend and she gushes about you and how lovely you are or how happy you make her. It’s so calming to know that, you know? She deserves the best of the best. After all, if she hadn’t accepted me for who I am, I probably wouldn’t be here…”

As I took in the information, I absentmindedly looked back down at Daeul, and I guess Sanggyun did that too, because we both jumped simultaneously when we saw that his son had ten different sheets of construction paper out, all full of scribbles and drawings. 

After cleaning everything and handing Sanggyun all of Daeul’s essentials and toys, it was time to say goodbye. 

“It was really nice to meet you, Jeongyeon. I mean that. You listened well to my rambling, and pairing that with everything that Nayeon tells me, you’re pretty damn amazing. I don’t want to step out of line, you know, as a man talking about two women’s relationship, but I really think you are absolutely what she deserves.”

“Thanks. See you around, Sanggyun,” I said as he stepped out of Nayeon’s house, his words on my mind. I’ve never been one to really care about a man’s opinion on my relationship, but at least his words weren’t empty. He was saying that from the bottom of his heart. “Thanks for sharing your story. It really made me see Nayeon in a new light.”

He simply smiled, probably feeling like he’d talked too much.

Daeul was in his right arm, his head peeking out enough for him to see me. He waved at me, and I waved back, awed by the way he looked like he kind of already missed me.

I watched as Daeul gave his father the toddler version of a stink eye while still waving goodbye at me, and watched as Daeul slapped his dad until he waved goodbye too. I tried not to laugh too hard.

I waited until they were long gone before running back inside and snatching my phone off the coffee table.

A minute later and I was on the phone with Nayeon, telling her everything and repeating over and over how much I loved and appreciated her.

**🔥**

Nayeon and I dropped onto her couch at the same time, both weary from the day we’d had so far.

“Okay, that’s done,” I groaned, feeling the back pain start forming at the base of my spine. “That was a pain in the ass, but at least...everything is done.”

I was referring to Nayeon’s kitchen and dining room, of course. The carpet was freshly vacuumed, the table was meticulously set and the food was ready. I even made sure to arrange her drapery in an attractive way. It was all just so our friends had a nice atmosphere that day. Nayeon said there was some big announcement that someone had, and that it was important that everything looked perfect for when it was announced.

“Yeah, now we can rest until they arrive.” Nayeon threw an arm over her face as she rested after all of this hard work.

“Is Mina coming too?”

“Yes!” Nayeon removed her arm and sat up excitedly. ”Her brother decided to stop attending university to be there for his parents, too. Mina told me he even recruited a few of his other jock friends to help as well, so Mrs. Myoui is safe in the hands of a bunch of strong athletes.”

“Oh, that sounds good. Mina must’ve been getting tired from being the only one there 24/7.”

Nayeon nodded. “Yeah, now she can focus on her job here in Korea… I think they were on the verge of firing her at one point...” She paused, then asked “Hey, what time is it?”

I checked my phone, hoping it wasn’t too early in the day. “We finished three hours before they arrive. It’s two o’ clock. Lots of time to shower and dress nicely.”

“And maybe something else…” 

“Hmm?” The tone in her voice made me look up from my phone.

“Nothing,” she teased. I protested, sick of her keeping secrets from me. 

“Nayeon! You’ve been doing this for the past six months… Everytime you say something you say it like there's a double meaning. You’re acting real mysterious and I wanna know what it is now or on god I’ll get it out of you somehow!”

Nayeon leaned close to me, really close, an apologetic smile spreading across her face. “I’m sorry. You’ll find out soon, I promise.” She didn’t actually look all that sorry at all, though. 

“Is it going to be tonight?” I wondered if the big announcement was the thing that made Nayeon all mysterious and playful. 

“Yep! Tonight!”

I didn’t even know that she knew what the announcement was. I had assumed it was going to be one of our friends that had something big to tell us. “Wait, are you the one that’s announcing something?”

Nayeon’s lips quirked. She quickly hid it, but trust me, I saw it. I grinned at her and grabbed the hand that tried to hide her playful smile. “Hey, you’ll see! You’ll see! And very soon, I promise you!”

I sat back and relaxed, trusting that I would understand everything soon. “Okay, but as soon as it’s announced, no more funny business. I don’t like being out of the loop.”

Nayeon laughed loudly and leaned in for a kiss. I met her halfway and kissed for less longer than I wanted to when she grabbed my shoulders and pushed me away gently. “Stay here.”

I whined, wanting to kiss her more, but she was having none of it. She shushed me and left to go get something from her room. I crossed my arms and groaned loudly, letting her know that I was staying put but absolutely _not_ happy about it.

“Oh, shush, I’ll be right back,” Nayeon shouted from her room, a laugh rolling it’s way up her throat.

“ _HUMPH!”_ I said even louder, exaggerating my features so that when Nayeon arrived, she’d get a good chuckle.

When she did arrive, my plan took effect immediately. Nayeon bent over, finding my dramatically angry face so amusing that she pulled out her phone and snapped a picture. “You look so funny! What a cutie, what a cutie,” she repeated, over and over until she sat down next to me.

She coughed once before forcing a serious face. It cracked immediately, but she composed herself just as fast. 

“What are you up to? What did you get?” I gestured with my chin toward her room.

Nayeon bit her lip, and I couldn’t help but notice that she had something behind her back. I said nothing about it, waiting for her to tell me when she was ready.

“Okay, well, you and I have been dating for well over a year now, right?” she asked, and her voice was a little shaky. I felt my heartbeat speed up a little bit. What was going on? Was she okay?

“Yeah…” I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to respond with, but it seemed good enough for her.

“Yeah,” she repeated, “a year and two months. That’s a long time, isn’t it? Four entire seasons spent with you, next to me and on my mind. Jeongyeon, you– you, god, I’m sorry, I didn’t– I didn’t prepare anything.” She adjusted herself in her seat next to me and tried again. “Jeongyeon, you constantly play like a gallery in my head, our beautiful memories sweetening my dreams when I sleep. I’ve gotten to know you, seen many sides to you; your angry side, your jealous side, the sides of you you’re ashamed of, but that I know only make you human. I’ve also seen you be kind and gentle, seen you make jokes so terrible and cheesy that I couldn’t help but fall deeper in love with you.”

I was having a hard time processing her words, and it wasn’t just because she had started talking faster by the second sentence. I started to sense her nervousness, and of course I didn’t understand at the time _why_ she was so nervous. I was getting nervous too, but since she was saying such kind things, things that made my chest swell… As you can imagine, I was feeling a lot of things.

“And that’s why I want to do this. I wanna do this even though I’m terrified of things getting as bad as– as last time. My...last marriage. I still want to take that risk, because I love you, and I feel like you’ll take care of me. Because you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.” She pulled out what was behind her back, shakily so, and I didn’t see what it was until she held it in front of me.

It was a small, pretty box, maybe made out of some type of velvet. I looked up at her, clearly confused because she chuckled nervously. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.

“Jeongyeon? Do you know what this is?” Carefully and ever so slowly, she opened the box.

My heart dropped. My eyes widened. I looked up at her again, my jaw firmly shut for the first time in my life. 

“Nayeon?”

She smiled and pulled out the small ring. It glistened, just like my eyes, just like the stars I saw in hers. 

I started shaking, more than I ever had in my life. Nayeon came closer, taking my left hand and holding it close to her heart. I stopped shaking, and her voice trembled. “Jeongyeon? Will you marry me?”

“Really?” I asked, looking deep into her dark eyes. 

“‘Really’, what?” she asked, looking deep into mine as well.

“Do you really want to marry me?” My hands shook so violently that my voice wavered because of them.

“Of course I do. I’m in love with you. I’m _so_ in love with you Jeongyeon, and I know you love me too. That’s why I dared to buy this ring to ask you to marry me. That’s why I’m asking, again, do you want to marry me?”

Tears threatened to spill as I tried to say yes, but I couldn’t, I felt like I’d choke up, so I just nodded. Nayeon lit up and slipped on the ring– _my_ ring. As soon as she finished, I looked at how it rested perfectly on my finger. 

She looked at me again, a little shyly, and asked me why I was crying, and I wanted to say _Because the ring is beautiful, because of your kind words, because I love you so much, because…_

“Because I wanted this too,” I choked out, surprised I was able to do it at all, “I wanted to ask you so badly, but I was so afraid.”

Then, of course, I threw myself at her and kissed her until my lips tired of being puckered, and even then, she started peppering _me_ with kisses.

When we finally pulled away from each other, I kept a shaky fist near my lips, thinking about everything yet absolutely nothing. I was still reeling. 

The love of my life, my one and only, asking me to marry her…

“Was this the announcement?” I asked, once my heart calmed down and I was able to talk without crying.

“Yes! I wanted to do it in private first, of course, but I had a feeling...that you were ready too. I’m so happy to hear that you wanted this too...”

I looked down at my hand, then back up at her. I couldn’t believe that my girlfriend wasn’t my girlfriend anymore, but my fiancée. 

“My fiancée,” I voiced my thoughts out loud, and Nayeon nodded.

“My fiancée,” she repeated. “The girl of my dreams, my one and only.”

🌴 

Chaeyoung stood up in a rush and shook her firsts happily, looking not unlike an excited child. Tzuyu stayed sitting cooly, but the way her cheeks were hiding her eyes told me that she was just as happy as Chaeyoung.

“Cool! Congrats to the both of you!” Momo said after Chaeyoung finally quieted down, “And we’re totally invited right? Because if we’re not, that would totally suck. I’m the best and most thoughtful gift-giver of them all.”

“Of course we’re invited. Nayeon, at least, knows we’d sneak in anyway, so to make things easier she’s inviting us,” Sana followed up, resting a hand on Momo’s. “She’d hate to watch us be arrested for trespassing on the day of her wedding, isn’t that right?”

Jihyo grinned at everyone, enjoying seeing how others reacted to our engagement news. “Have you decided when you’re getting married? It better not be too soon, because I need to buy a dress in time.”

“No, not anytime soon,” Nayeon said cheekily, explaining that she had just proposed only hours ago.

“Wow,” Mina said, the corners of her lips curving up. “Did you really plan on waiting this long, or did you simply procrastinate?”

Nayeon’s smile faltered and she admitted that she had wanted to do it for a while. “I was scared, so I kept putting it off. But hey! At least I did it!” She lifted my hand and showed off the ring, making me blush as our friends marveled at it. “Normally I’m not one to follow the norms of society and buy an expensive diamond ring to express my love for my girl, but I couldn’t help it. I saw it and thought of it on her finger! I couldn’t get it out of my mind, so I bought it the day after I first saw it.”

“Nice, but you still totally procrastinated,” Dahyun said, and Momo retaliated by reminding everyone that the kindergarten teacher was the bigger procrastinator here, having put off baking some pie for her students for months now.

That started a whole discussion and the whole room erupted into chaos, with some of the girls defending Dahyun, others siding with Momo, and, oddly enough, Sana shouting nonsense so she didn’t have to pick between her girlfriend Momo and her new best friend Dahyun.

Nayeon caught my eye as I leaned back, a content smile playing on her face. With a raised eyebrow, she raised her glass, and I did too, and silently we celebrated successfully telling our friends we were engaged.

I sipped on my lemonade and relaxed into my seat, smiling to myself as I watched the rest of my friends make enough noise to sound like a lit rave.


	2. Autumn

🍂

“Wait, wait, _wait, putitdownputitdown,_ my _back!”_

Quickly, Dahyun set my mirror down, almost dropping it in her haste. I put it down as well, painfully straightening my back and hearing an unsatisfactory _pop!_

Dahyun watched me worriedly as she wiped the sweat off her brow. “You good?” 

I groaned once more before answering. “Y-yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry. Are you? You look sweaty.” She was now raking her fingers through her black hair, probably to put it up in that Signature Dahyun Bun she always did. She nodded, saying that it was just really hot.

“I’ll manage, though. We’re almost done anyway, right?”

“That’s right! I don’t know what I’d do without you, Dahyun,” I said, sure that I wouldn’t almost be done moving my stuff over without her help.

“You’d be _nothing_ without me,” Dahyun said nonchalantly, pretending to check her nails. “No, really, though, it’s no big deal. It’s not everyday that you need help moving out. If it was a monthly thing, yeah, I’d say ‘screw you’ and leave you to do it yourself, but this is definitely a special occasion.”

“Yeah, it sure is.” As I rubbed the center of my back, I looked behind me, at Nayeon’s house. I’d seen it almost every week, sometimes every day, for more than a year, and it was just now starting to look different. More home-y. Maybe because it was going to be my home now, starting today.

“But am I really the only friend you have with muscles? I mean, I’m really strong and all, but wouldn’t it have been easier with a third person? Momo’s a dancer _and_ a fitness trainer. Bitch has abs for days. Couldn’t you have told her to come too?”

I rolled my eyes, recalling the phone conversation with Momo the day before. “She had promised to come, but cancelled last minute, actually. She and Sana are going on a date. Sucks, but at the same time, I’m glad. Think it’s getting pretty serious, which is great, don’t you think?” After Nayeon and I introduced them to each other that first dinner we all had together, Sana and Dahyun became fast friends, mostly due to the fact that they both had a burning passion for teaching. While Dahyun studied to be a kindergarten teacher, Sana decided to use her extensive knowledge of her mother tongue to teach Japanese for Business classes. I _knew_ Dahyun was excited about those two finally getting serious, for more reasons than just because they were both our friends.

“Yeah, you know I do. I was worried that Momo would keep that noncommittal attitude she’d had before, with those other girls. But I’m glad to see that the _seed_ I _planted_ is bearing _fruit!_ They better name their first child after me, with all the stress that came from setting them up.”

“Oh, with all the hair you lost, they better do _more_ than just that, baldy.”

Dahyun frowned and patted her hair. “I’m not bald! I didn’t lose _that_ much hair! But I _could_ have! Those clueless lesbians, I swear...”

“But anyway, I digress. It’s not like I own a ton of stuff. You and I make a great team! We don’t need Momo!” I pulled up my sleeve and displayed my muscles to my friend, who simply scoffed and bent over to pick the mirror up again.

“Let’s keep going, _noodle arms_. Where are we taking this mirror? Nayeon’s room or the spare one?” I let the insult flow past me as I lifted the large mirror as well and tried to think of where it was going to be placed. 

“Oh, _my_ room definitely,” a new voice said behind me. “Think I might even donate mine to make room for this beauty.”

“Hey, _Nayeon_ , finally decided to help us?” Dahyun asked, her face turning red from the exertion of carrying the mirror.

“Shut it, Kim. I had to pick up Daeul from his father’s house, which is a _very_ valid excuse.” Nayeon shoved her car keys into her purse and stood on my side of the mirror. “Move over, baby, let me carry this and show Dahyun how easy it is to move around heavy stuff.”

I let go of my end of the mirror and heard Nayeon let out the quietest _ooooooof._ “Easy peasy,” she lied through gritted teeth, and led an unconvinced Dahyun to the front door.

It seemed like they wouldn’t need me, since Dahyun had been right, there were only two small boxes left, so I entered the house to keep out of their way. 

I spotted Daeul sitting on the couch in the living room, still wearing his little red backpack. He was swinging his legs excitedly, focused on the action.

“Hey, buddy,” I greeted, sitting next to him. “How’d it go with your dad?”

He said nothing but took his backpack off to show me all of the drawings he had worked on while he was there for the weekend.

The four-year-old had drawn on a total of 35 pages, all of them using different media. “Wow!” I gasped, holding up one with a green egg-person drawn in crayon. I knew it was supposed to be his dad, since he always used green when depicting him, so I pointed at it and said “Your dad looks good here! You got his eyes perfectly.”

He took the compliment humbly and handed me another one, this one drawn in pink marker. I had no idea who this was supposed to be, so I asked.

He stared at me, his eyes the definition of innocent. 

“Is this me?” I asked, turning it over to look at it again. It was...well, an egg, so I wasn’t sure what to look for. Daeul didn’t really talk, so I didn’t expect a verbal response. When I looked back at him, I saw that he was holding another drawing. I took it and studied it carefully. It was a pink egg again, but this time with a purple one next to it, connected by a thin line that I knew was supposed to represent two hands holding each other.

“Purple... Okay, so this one is your mom. But… Daeul, who’s this?” I asked, pointing at the pink person again. He looked at me, a smile forming on his lips.

 _Ah… It’s totally me!_ I looked at it again, excitement growing in my chest. _He drew me holding Nayeon’s hand._

I held it to my chest and told him that I loved it. Instead of handing me another drawing, like he did before, he stuck his fingers in his mouth and laughed. He kicked his feet happily again, then jumped off the couch to go to his room, the rest of his drawings flying out of his little red backpack, leaving a trail of breadcrumbs for me to follow.

Dumbly, I walked after him, picking up the fallen sheets of paper, the drawing of his mother and I still on my mind.

He’d never drawn me before. He always drew Sanggyun in green, himself in red, Nayeon in purple (and for some reason, famous singer Kim Jiwoo in peach), but never me. Nayeon would constantly tell me not to worry about it– Mina was his _favorite_ aunt and he never drew her– but it kind of did get to me. Now, seeing that he was using pink to draw egg Jeongyeon…

Resisting the urge to text Mina and show off, I finished picking up his drawings and entered his room. He had taken off his backpack by then and was running around excitedly, as he always did when he came back to Nayeon’s house.

“Hey, be careful,” I warned, eyeing the haphazardly thrown backpack on the floor. He stopped running in circles and instead ran past me into the living room. 

“Hey, Jeongyeon, Dahyun and I are gonna finish bringing all of your stuff inside, okay? You can rest until we have to unpack.” Nayeon entered the toddler’s room and stopped abruptly when she saw me alone. “Hey, what’s up?” She must have seen the blank look on my face.

I handed her the drawing of us and watched the realization dawn in her eyes. She peeked up at me for confirmation, to which I nodded, and she handed it back, a triumphant grin resting on her lips. “Congrats, baby! You are now officially an egg!”

Despite the silly accomplishment name, of course this was a big thing for me. After trying for months to get him to like me, all of my hard work was bearing fruit. 

Nayeon kissed my cheek before leaving the room to continue bringing my stuff in. She came back in immediately.

“And Jeongyeon?”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t tell Mina. It’ll break her heart.”

I chuckled, imagining Mina taking it hard. 

  
  
  
I looked for Daeul in the living room but found him in the backyard. I watched him play around as I sat with my cat, Bam. 

Bam is my black and angry-looking Scottish Fold, and that day he seemed less angry now that he got a new view of the world. He always seemed pretty stressed as he paced around my old apartment, which was admittedly pretty small. Now he was sitting still, licking himself every now and then, just like he used to when he lived in my sister’s giant house. 

Every now and then, Daeul would run in my direction but stop abruptly when he saw Bam. He looked a little scared, but always ran away and the smile would return, so I didn’t think much of it. 

_Maybe he just thinks Bam is ugly,_ I thought. 

I learned better soon, however, when Bam got tired of chilling next to me and walked out on the grass, where Daeul was playing. Daeul stopped in his tracks and moved away to another area of the backyard, a fearful look in his eyes. Bam sat in one spot and watched Daeul carefully. Daeul didn’t seem to like that one bit, because he hid behind the nearest tree, peeking every now and then to see if Bam had gone away yet. He’d gasp when he saw Bam was still there, everytime, without fail.

It was funny at first, because I thought Daeul was pretending Bam was a monster, but it became pretty clear that that wasn’t the case when Bam came closer to Daeul after studying him for a couple of minutes. Daeul shrieked and ran around Bam, avoiding him completely. Bam, not being one to handle rejection well, slinked after him. 

Daeul looked back and ran away faster.

I got up, now a lot more worried. He looked terror-stricken.

He ran into my legs and begged me to carry him, showing it by stretching his arms up toward me. He looked back and when he saw Bam coming closer, he started jumping desperately, tears welling in his eyes as he waited for me to save him.

I picked Daeul up carefully and was immediately almost strangled by tiny toddler arms. He held tightly onto my neck, like his life depended on it, and looked for Bam, his head twitching left and right.

A few meters away, Bam yawned, not knowing he had caused so much panic, and went back to the shady area where I had been sitting.

“Hey, Bam isn’t going to hurt you, you know,” I told Daeul, slowly stepping closer to Bam. “He’s my kitty. I brought him from my house to yours. He can be your kitty too, if you want.”

Daeul remained silent, his watery eyes trained on Bam, as if he was watching the cat to make sure he didn’t try to attack me.

I took one step closer to Bam, and Daeul shot me a worried look, emitting a little baby gasp. “It’s okay,” I said gently, ”Bam is actually really nice. Don’t let his mean face trick you! If you talk to him and treat him nicely, he’ll show you his belly! When he does that, that means he likes you.” 

I worked my way up to Bam, who largely ignored us until the very last moment. When he finally looked up at us, Daeul gasped again and hid in my hair.

“Hey, that tickles!” I pulled him away from my hair and pointed at Bam. “Look. He’s not attacking. He’s a nice kitty. See?” I leaned closer to pet Bam, who closed his eyes as he let himself be petted.

Daeul watched curiously as Bam turned and nipped at my fingertips. I tried not to react, just explain what was happening. “He’s not eating me, haha. He’s giving me, uhm, love bites. He really likes me, so I guess... that’s why... he’s doing that.”

Daeul didn’t look very convinced, and I totally understood that. Once upon a time, I used to be more of a dog person. Then my sister adopted Bam, and though at first, I _hated_ it, because he caused a lot of mischief (like breaking vases and biting my fingers), I came around once I translated his actions. 

“Look, touch Bam. He’s nice, he won’t do anything mean to you. Cats are different from dogs. I know your dad has a doggie. He shows you love by wagging his tail and licking your face, right?” Daeul blinked at me, letting me know he was listening. “Well, cats show love differently. I know it’s hard to understand. He scares you because he stares at you, he bites fingers a little sometimes. But it’s still...love. Just shown differently. When you realize that, you’ll see Bam is constantly sending you love signals.”

He held on tightly to my neck as I bent over slightly, just enough for him to reach out and pet Bam. 

I watched his baby fingers slowly reach out and briefly touch Bam. Daeul immediately got scared and pulled away, hugging me tighter than he had before. 

“See? He didn’t do anything to you, did he?” I checked his fingers, to let him see that Bam didn’t bite or scratch him anywhere. “One, two, three, four, five fingers! Yep! You’ve got all of them!”

Daeul counted his fingers, too, making sure I had done so correctly, then leaned over, letting me know he wanted to touch Bam again, now that he was sure he wouldn’t get attacked. Bam closed an eye, but other than that, he didn’t move a muscle. He let himself be petted, and I swore I heard something like a purr.

“Bam,” Daeul said, his chubby cheeks turning pink.

“That’s right, his name is Bam. And I think he likes you,” I said back. I put Daeul down at his request and watched as he tiptoed over to my cat. Daeul glanced at me quickly before petting Bam, and let out a gleeful laugh when he saw that I was right about Bam being a nice kitty. Unfortunately, he spooked Bam with his laugh, and Bam ran away behind a tree. It didn’t matter to Daeul, though, because he still stood there with that cute little smile on his face. I loved it, and I never wanted to see him as scared as he had been with Bam ever again. 

I watched the toddler act like he and Bam had been best friends for a long time, and I noticed that Bam did too, eventually. He loved attention, and Daeul was giving him exactly that. Every now and then Daeul would let Bam nip at his fingers, and he would run up to me and count them to show me that he still had all of them. 

As I watched them run around together, a warm, pleasant feeling spread throughout my body, starting at my bones and eventually working its way into my veins. He was _drawing_ me, _running_ to me for help and _trusting_ me to not put him in danger. Was this... progress? Was our relationship changing for the best, just as I had wished it would for a long time now? 

🎑

When Jihyo invited us to her girlfriend’s house for the Chuseok holiday, it sounded like the best idea ever. It seemed like everyone was under a lot of stress, so we all agreed to take five days off from our normal, chaotic lives and enjoy our time in the house that was located an hour away from our city, more in the countryside.

When Nayeon and I, with Daeul in the backseat, turned the car onto the dirt road that led to Junghwa’s house, Nayeon whistled. “So it’s the _countryside_ countryside. Jihyo was not kidding. No wonder she told us to bring plenty of clothes.”

Upon everyone’s arrival, Jihyo and Junghwa greeted us all in front of the white, two-story house, with Jihyo formally introducing us to her girlfriend of one year. Junghwa was a super nice girl, just as playful and outgoing as Jihyo was, and it was clear she made Jihyo very, very happy, which calmed Nayeon’s overprotective side. 

After that, Junghwa showed us around her 5-acre property, simultaneously explaining to us that this property used to belong to her parents but that, since they died, she inherited it all. She had originally planned on burying her parents right there, but after investigating, found out they had to be buried in an established cemetery.

“I used to think about selling it, but damn, it’s got my entire childhood in it, you know?” Junghwa asked as we arrived at the river that was only a five minute walk from the house. “Not only the house itself, but even the outside. I remember very clearly the nights I spent under the sky, watching the stars twinkle above me.”

Nayeon, at that point, grabbed my arm excitedly. “Jeongyeon! We’re gonna see the stars!” She jumped up and down, making Daeul jump happily too, just because his mom was. “Oh, this is so cool! No light pollution! Daeul is gonna love it too!”

I agreed, already getting excited, imagining us all laying under the stars and sharing an unforgettable Chuseok. 

  
  
  
And in a way, it was. It really was.

  
  
  
It happened three days into the little retreat of ours, in the afternoon.

Mina was leaving, tears in her eyes.

She couldn’t keep the anxiety that was building up in her heart at bay anymore. All she could think about was her mother at night, and during the days, she felt guilt about being away for so long. We all understood, and didn’t judge her when she announced that she was going back home early.

We all helped her pack, making sure she didn’t forget a single sock, and Nayeon helped her load her suitcase into Tzuyu’s van.

“Thank you, Tzuyu, and sorry for ruining the vacation,” Mina said, wiping her eyes behind the car.

“Hey, no, I’m doing you this favor because you’re my friend, Mina.” Tzuyu shook her head and wrapped an arm around her. “You’re making it sound like you’re a burden, which you’re not. Besides, it’s not like I’ll miss out on much. We only live an hour away, so that means I’ll basically be gone for only two hours: one to take you home and one to come back.”

Mina sniffled and ultimately nodded, seeing that Tzuyu was right. “Thank you Tzu. You’re right. I’m sorry. All of this anxiety is just getting to my head.”

“Hey, Minari, it’s okay.” Sana ruffled Mina’s hair.

“And hey! If you happen to feel better,” Chaeyoung said, “Remember that you can come right back here! But only if you’re feeling up to it!”

“I don’t think that’ll happen, Chaeyoungie, but thank you.”

“Stay safe, okay, Mina?” I spoke up, wanting to make sure she took care of herself too. “And please, stay in contact. Keep us updated in case anything changes with you or your mother. Please?”

Mina nodded and got emotional, then reached out to hug me. When she pulled away, Nayeon was there, her arms already open. Mina laughed through the tears, realizing that she’d have to hug us all before leaving, and there were _ten of us_.

When she was seemingly done hugging us all, Mina sniffled and looked around, looking confused. 

“What’s wrong?” Junghwa asked, looking around too.

“Where’s my baby?” Mina replied, looking over at Nayeon. Nayeon smiled, touched by the way Mina referred to Daeul.

We all looked around and found nothing, making Nayeon frown. She hid it with a laugh almost immediately, though, and said “He probably went inside. Do you want me to get him, Minari?”

Mina nodded, and Tzuyu said that meanwhile, she’d turn on her van to warm it up.

Nayeon nodded and ran into the house in search for Daeul.

“Hey,” Junghwa said, “I’m totally down to do this again some other time. Maybe when your mother gets better and your anxiety isn’t as cumbersome. Just say the word, and I’ll arrange everything so we can do this again, okay?”

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind! Hopefully I don’t ruin the relaxing vibes again.”

Tzuyu came back just in time to roll her eyes. “Stop being self-deprecating, Mina. You’re not ruining anything. You’re just our friend with anxiety.”

At that moment, the front door flew open and Nayeon burst out. 

“I can’t...find him,” Nayeon huffed, speaking loud and monotonously. Her eyes frantically searched the front yard, where we were standing as we were sending Mina away. 

“Wait, what? He’s not anywhere?” Sana asked, worry tingeing her voice. 

Nayeon nodded her head and told us that she searched every room in the house _and_ the three bathrooms. As if on cue, we all ran inside the house. Mina ran straight to the kitchen, and I saw Jihyo, Junghwa and Sana run straight for the rooms, just to have a fresh pair of eyes look around.

Nayeon was frozen in the living room, frantically spinning around as she tried to decide where to search. I ran to her and asked her where she had seen him last. Maybe that could give us a clue.

“He- he was in our room. When I offered to take Mina’s suitcase, I almost hit Daeul w-with the door.”

“Okay, and after that?” 

“Guys! He wasn’t in my room!” Sana interrupted from the hallway. Junghwa followed soon after, confirming that he wasn’t in any of the downstairs rooms.

Ignoring my question, Nayeon finally decided on searching the upstairs area of the house. I didn’t blame her, because I was scared too.

I ran to the kitchen and found Mina carefully searching all of the cupboards he could have been hiding in. I searched the last ones that Mina hadn’t checked yet, and found nothing.

“Where else could he be?” I asked, feeling the tension rise on my back and make it start aching. Mina suggested the basement, and we ran there together. Dahyun ran after us and soon all three of us stomped down the stairs in hopes that he had decided to brave the basement. There wasn’t much there, however, and virtually no places to hide.

“He’s afraid of the dark anyway, right?” Dahyun asked as we climbed the stairs. “No way he would have been down there.”

“It’s better to check anyway,” Mina replied, ”That way we can check off the basement without worries.”

When we burst out of the basement, we almost ran into Chaeyoung, who informed us that Nayeon had run outside to search for Daeul and that the rest decided to join her. We all ran outside too, where the girls were all over the property, shouting the boy’s name.

“Daeul! Baby! Daeul!” Nayeon cried, her voice already hoarse. I could hear that she was fighting tears, and was losing the fight.

“Babe, he’s not in the basement either,” I told her as I approached her. She paused in her screaming to give me a look, which was sour, but she relaxed and stretched her arms out, asking for a hug. I did as she asked and held her tight, understanding that she was freaking out. Understanding because I was freaking out too, imagining the worst possible things. I peeked at her after a minute of cooing and petting her and saw the tears streak down her face.

“Jeongyeon… What am I going to do? What are _we_ going to do?”

My heartbeat stuttered. I wasn’t sure what to do either. “I don’t know, I don’t-“ I was about to ramble about how I was going insane from not finding him, but I realized that it was better for Nayeon that I stay calm. She was already having trouble composing herself, so if I started letting it get to me, she wouldn’t have anyone to lean on. I needed to stay strong so that Nayeon’s mind was clear enough to find her son. I took a quick, deep breath before saying, instead “Let’s search along the river. While we searched the house he could have ran that way. Does that sound alright?”

She gripped my shirt and balled it up in both of her fists, clearly trying to compose herself before facing whatever the river held. She buried her head in my chest then suddenly let go, sprinting toward the river. I ran after her, looking around me in the tall grass just in case Daeul was in it.

The five minute walk to the river turned into a two minute race to reach its bank. I was breathless from the constant running, and I thought Nayeon was too, but she was just starting to hyperventilate from the fear, her breath ragged and painful.

Nayeon looked like she was going to cross the river to check the other side but I beat her to it. “Let me do it, so that it’s easier for you to get back to the house!” I explained, and waded through the cold water to get to the other side. Secretly, I checked the waters too, just in case he’d jumped in at some point. I didn’t find him there either. 

My top half was dry, but below my chest was freezing cold and sopping wet. I clenched my teeth as I stepped out and began to search for Daeul, feeling the October breeze cooling me down more than I needed. 

Together, Nayeon and I ran along the riverbank, with Nayeon now checking the water too and me checking along the unsearched side of the river. We stopped screaming his name in hopes that we could hear him crying out for help, wherever he was, but once we reached the neighboring forest, we stopped. There was a fortified fence made of barbed wire separating Junghwa’s property from the forest, meaning there was no way he had made his way there. Upon seeing this, Nayeon, on the other side, let out a hurt wail and fell to her knees. My heart constricted as I watched her claw into the dirt, the desperation clouding her mind and making her act so animalistic. I jumped into the cold water again to reach her, and I questioned if it would be okay to hold her with my wet clothes, but she answered that for me when she stopped pounding the dirt and shoved herself into me. Her muffled screams froze my blood, and I figured my clothes would have gotten wet with her tears whether I had jumped into the river or not.

When we arrived back at the house empty handed, Jihyo and Junghwa looked at each other and nodded. Jihyo was the one who spoke up. 

“Nayeon, Jeongyeon, do you guys want to call the police? It’s been a while and we- and Daeul hasn’t been found yet.”

Nayeon looked like she was going to be sick. I decided to speak for her, hoping it was what she wanted. “I think we should. We shouldn’t have waited until now to do that, but it’s better to do it now anyway. Call them.”

Nayeon tugged on my sleeve. “Jeongyeon wait,” she said, her breath coming in short gasps, “What if he’s here and we waste the police’s time? We- we’re an hour away from the nearest police station, right?” The question was directed at Junghwa, who nodded solemnly.

“More or less.”

I felt Nayeon’s knees buckle and caught her before she could fall. I looked back at Jihyo and nodded. “Call them. It’s better to call them but find him ourselves than risk not calling the police and not find him.”

Junghwa didn’t waste any time. She dialed the number and talked to the police. Soon after she had to hand me the phone so that I could describe Daeul to them and give them his vitals and other important information. Nayeon wasn’t in any shape to talk for more than short bursts.

“Yeah, okay. You can call this number again if you need anything else. Thank you.” I handed Junghwa’s phone back to her, apologizing for making that decision without her consent.

“No, it’s all good. Right now, you two call the shots. You’re his parents, after all.”

“I’m not his–“ I started, but waved it off because it wasn’t important at the moment.

We all went inside after that, not moving or adjusting anything inside the house, just like the police had suggested.

  
  
  
The police arrived in twenty minutes.

Nayeon’s nails were gone and her fingertips were raw and red from the constant gnawing. The police asked more questions now that we were meeting in person. They asked every single person what they saw. They searched the house once more, and went outside with a special squad to look around the property.

Mina refused to leave until they found Daeul, despite us telling her it was okay for her to leave. “Absolutely not, not until I know he’s safe,” she’d say, over and over.

We sat in the living room, every single one of the girls looking tired and stressed. I ran my hand down my face for the umpteenth time that afternoon, waiting for the police to arrive and give us Daeul, safe and sound.

I couldn’t handle sitting still anymore. I jumped to my feet, feeling the tension build in my right knee. I needed to get up and walk around, so I asked everyone if they wanted any water. Nobody answered me.

Once in the kitchen, I stood by the sink and gripped onto its metallic edges. I was out of Nayeon’s earshot, finally, and felt a sob rise up my throat. I tried my hardest to suppress it, forcing a fist against my lips, begging it to stay down so that I could stay strong, but I coughed it up anyway and sobbed against the edge of the sink, my body a ninety degree angle as I rested my head. I felt the intrusive thoughts I had tried to drown out surface once more, and I did my best to force them down again, to no avail. I shut my eyes and pretended that brief flashes of terrible scenarios had not just appeared in my head, that I hadn’t just imagined my fiancée’s son dead, floating face down in the river, kidnapped by freaks or still on this property but with a broken, bloody leg.

_How could I imagine that? That’s so fucked up, Jeongyeon._

I sobbed again.

_He hasn’t been missing for that long. Calm down. The first forty-eight hours are the most crucial, and it hasn’t even been two. He’ll be alright. They’ll find him._

I flinched when I felt someone behind me, but relaxed when I heard Nayeon whisper “You don’t have to hide it from me, you know.” She slowly wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face into my back. “You can cry for him too,” her voice was muffled, but it sounded like she was speaking directly to my soul, which has no need for ears. ”It wouldn’t look weird or wrong if you did, no one is going to think weirdly of you. We all know how much you’ve come to love him, Jeongyeon.”

I closed my eyes, trying to relax into her touch. “It’s not that. I just wanted to stay strong. I wanted you to cry all you wanted while I remained as grounded as possible.” My voice cracked many times throughout, but I managed to control myself. 

“Jeongyeon, there are eight other girls here to stay calm for us; Junghwa, Momo, Sana, Jihyo, Mina, Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu can— _did you hear that?”_

My head snapped up as Nayeon interrupted herself. I heard it too. It was barely audible, but I heard it too. Daeul was crying not too far from here.

There was a backdoor in the kitchen that Nayeon and I barged out of, and we stayed still in the darkness again to hear him. For a second, all we could hear were crickets and the typical sounds of the night, then...

“That way! I think! Let’s go!” Nayeon shouted and pointed toward the river. We ran like crazy, both of us tripping on rocks every now and then but ignoring that and getting up as soon as we could. Honestly, I don’t even know if we were allowed out of the house while the police searched, but we didn’t care. We heard him and we were going to search for him either way.

When the sound of his crying was deafening, we stopped running and frantically looked around us. He _sounded_ like he was right next to us, but he was nowhere in sight.

“Daeul! Where are you? It’s me, baby, where are you?” Nayeon screamed, looking left and right and up and down.

I took a step forward toward his voice and fell right into a hole, where I narrowly missed landing on Daeul. I ignored the blinding pain on my knee and hobbled to him.

Have you ever heard an absolutely agonized toddler cry? Heard the pain in their voice, felt your heart break because you can’t help them? It was awful. Daeul was sobbing his eyes out, and I could just barely make out the streaks on his cheeks, where his tears cleaned the dirt off his face. He couldn’t see me, didn’t know who I was, because it was dark and the moon was momentarily obscured by clouds. I was just one more terrifying thing to add to his list, so I grabbed him and held him close as I pulled out my phone and turned on the flashlight.

“Nayeon! I found him! He fell down this hole!” I shouted as I pointed the flashlight at myself, wanting Daeul to see me and stop being so afraid. 

Daeul screamed and hugged my neck, his warm tears wetting my cheek. His body was trembling so terribly that his cries shook too. I turned off my phone and used my free hand to check him and see if he had suffered any injuries. In general, he seemed fine, but I felt his little leg and felt something wet there. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was bleeding or because his leg touched my still-wet clothes.

Dirt fell on my head and I saw Nayeon’s silhouette above us.

“Daeul! Oh my god!”

I raised him up to hand him over to her, and when she took him, he shrieked and bawled harder. 

“No my baby, you’re okay, you’re with mommy now- don’t cry, baby- I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry…” My heart constricted at this, her voice sounding so pained yet so relieved at the same time.

I tried to climb out of the dark hole, but the dirt kept breaking under my grip. It didn’t take too long for the police to hear the commotion, however, and soon they were with us and helped me out of the hole.

  
  
  
The next hour was hell, with Junghwa having to explain to the police that she assumed the hole–meant to be her parent’s burial place– had been filled back up, and with Nayeon having to be taken to a separate room to be questioned further. 

Daeul sat on my lap, his leg bandaged after we realized that it _had_ been bleeding. He kept on trying to take the bandage off, but I would playfully smack his hands away until he laughed and forgot about it for a while. He seemed to like this game, so we did it for a while until they came back to the living room. The police said they’d have more followup questions, but that those could be over the phone.

When the police finally left, all of the girls rushed in and babied Daeul, carrying him and giving him kisses all over.

I didn’t see Junghwa or Nayeon in the huddle but found them on the couch, Junghwa looking like she was profusely apologizing to my fiancée.

“–Sorry again. It’s been four years and I never _once_ noticed that my idiot cousin never got rid of the hole. I didn’t ever think it would lead to losing you two’s kid.”

“It’s okay, Junghwa. Totally not your fault. Jeongyeon and I ran around that area the first time and we didn’t notice his screams at all. If she hadn’t fallen into it, we’d probably still be looking for him,” she said, smiling at me as she saw me coming close. She patted the seat next to her, inviting me to sit with her as she continued trying to convince Junghwa that none of this was her fault at all.

Much later, when Daeul yawned, we all yawned afterward, realizing it was way past the usual time to sleep.

Mina decided to stay one more night, and after taking out her sleeping clothes from her suitcase, went straight to bed. We all followed suit.

  
  
  
Nayeon and I pretended to be asleep for about ten minutes before she tapped my shoulder. “ _Hey, are you asleep?”_

“No,” I answered, turning in bed to face her. “What’s up?”

“I can’t sleep. Still guilty... about everything, even though we have him back.” She glanced at the twin bed next to us, where Daeul slept peacefully.

“I can’t even imagine how hurt you must be. Come here,” I said, pulling her closer. “I know it’s easier said than done, but try to relax. We can talk more about it tomorrow. For now, let’s rest. We deserve it. _You_ deserve it.”

Nayeon cuddled closer, but didn’t try to sleep. “Thank you, by the way. I know I told you that you could cry, that you didn’t have to be strong, but the truth is that seeing you keep your head _did_ help me a lot.” She played with the hem of my pajama as she continued, avoiding my eyes for a moment. “If we had both let ourselves get lost in the...in the feeling, you know, I don’t know how I would have been able to cope with the guilt. You staying strong felt like you were confident we were going to find him, that he wouldn’t be gone for long, and that _really_ helped. You have no idea.”

“It’s no problem at all,” I said, though I knew that I hadn’t really been all that confident we would find him. I flinched inwardly at all the terrible situations my cruel mind conjured as we searched for him. She didn’t need to know all of that. 

The clouds outside cleared up and the moonlight flooded into the room. I could now clearly see Nayeon’s big brown eyes, which were wide open, not sleepy, looking at me with so much love. Almost randomly, Nayeon suggested “Hey, let’s go outside. Let’s look at the stars while we can.”

We grabbed two thick blankets and walked out onto our room’s balcony. Nayeon checked to make sure it still had a good view of Daeul. Once satisfied, she allowed me to cuddle into her side.

“Do you know anything about stars?” I asked Nayeon after a few moments of silence. She nodded thoughtfully.

“Yes, but not too much. When Daeul was born, I looked up stuff about stars so that I could teach him fun stuff about constellations and the stories behind them.” A frown formed on her face. “In fact, one of the first things I thought about when we lost Daeul today was _‘I never got to teach him about the stars’_. It broke my heart much more than it already was, and I swore to myself I’d never look up at the sky again if I lost him forever. He’s my sun and stars, you know? My baby.”

I said nothing after that, feeling like there wasn’t anything I could possibly tell her that could soothe the searing pain of almost losing her child. She was okay with that, though, and silently watched the stars with me. 

After about an hour of stargazing, I got really sleepy. I vaguely remember Nayeon carrying me back to bed. Gently, she set me down before getting in bed too. What I _do_ remember clearly is when she came close and whispered, oh so softly, “You’re my sun and stars too. I love you.”

🍁 

On the very first day of November, it snowed. 

Nayeon called it ‘the perfect birthday gift’ for me, but I disagreed, knowing it was going to be a terribly cold night, as our heater was malfunctioning. And I was right! The whole house was chilly, from the kitchen to the bedrooms.

I stood in front of our small bedroom closet, my brows furrowed and my eyes darting around.

I couldn’t find my extra-warm pajamas! I swore I remembered unpacking them and placing them there, in that very closet, but guessed I’d fabricated the memory. I sighed dejectedly, thinking about having to go into the ice-cold garage and look through the many, many unpacked boxes I’d been too lazy to, well, _unpack._

“Hey, Jeong, what are you doing? Come to bed.” Nayeon came into the room, but I kept my eyes trained on the top shelf, willing any superpowers I might have been hiding until now to make the pajamas appear. I regret to inform that I had no such powers, and the pajamas remained missing.

I heard Nayeon get in bed, heard the pout evident in her voice. “Baby? Come to bed, please.”

Pursing my lips, I turned on my heel to explain to my fiancée why I couldn’t do that yet. “Sorry, Nayeon, I will, once I find my favorite–“

Before me lay Nayeon, dressed in the gray sweatshirt and pink pants combo I loved so much– and had been looking for for the past seven minutes.

“–pajamas?” Nayeon asked, a sweet mix of innocence and mischief lining her voice. “You never wore them! They’ve been sitting there for weeks, so I decided to give them some love. Now, c’mere!”

I chuckled lightly, happy to see that they weren’t lost at all. “Isn’t the ensemble a _little_ too big for you?” The arms outstretched toward me were overwhelmed by the folds of my large sweatshirt.

“Nope,” she said, no longer extending her arms. Instead, she fell back onto our pillows and pulled the collar over her face, muffling her next words. “It’s perfect. The pants are warm, sooo comfy, and the sweatshirt smells like you, so I _love_ it.”

My heart thumped harder in my chest, the sight of the most beautiful woman in the world looking at me with adoring eyes making it feel like it was blossoming.

“Do you want them back?”

“Nah.” I climbed into bed and leaned forward to kiss her soft lips. “You look amazing in them. Just wrap a leg around me to keep me warm.”

Nayeon grinned and threw the blankets over us, then turned off the lights. She cuddled closer to me, doing as I asked and throwing her leg over my waist.

“Happy birthday, baby,” she whispered, kissing my temple after. “I’ve been avoiding talking about this, but I’m sorry we didn’t celebrate it with a party.”

“It’s okay.” I pulled the blanket higher, over our heads, and talked to her under there. “It really wouldn’t be the same without Mina and Chaeyoung, anyway. Momo’s birthday isn’t going to happen either, because we both know Momo wouldn’t dare party without Chaeyoung. Maybe we can meet up for Sana’s, though. Maybe December will be good to us.”

“Do you think it’s lame that we don’t like to party unless it’s all nine of us?” Nayeon asked after a brief silence. “Well, ten, when we include Daeul. But– do you?”

“Nah,” I replied, having thought about this before. “I think it’s nice. We still have fun by ourselves, like when you and I go out, but parties are undoubtedly better when the group is complete.”

“Exactly. Hopefully our wedding’s date is on a good day, where they can all come. I’d hate to have the reception be missing my best friends.”

“Well, that’s why we coordinated with them. Chaeyoung said she doesn’t have any schedules that day, and Momo promised she wouldn’t join any dance festivals or instruct gym classes. Sana said the school will have a week off during that time, so she won’t be giving any lectures either. Everyone else can take time off easily. So don’t worry too much, okay?” I kissed her forehead. “Everyone will be there. They promised. If they don’t go, we’ll just skip their weddings too.”

Nayeon laughed. “Imagine Dahyun skipping our wedding and getting mad when we skip hers and Mina’s!”

“Yeah, which is why she shouldn’t even think about it!”

Nayeon laughed for a bit, and when it died down, she smiled at me goofily.

“What’s up?”

She shook her head and even in the dark I could see she was slightly blushing. “Nothing is up. I’m just thinking about us getting married.”

“Oh.” I thought about it too, and a giddy feeling formed in my chest. I thought about it all the time too, my heart constricting nervously, but excitedly. “I’m super excited. It isn’t until February but _damn_ am I excited.”

Nayeon flipped herself onto her stomach and grabbed my hand. “Me too! You’re gonna look amazing, Jeong! I think I might cry when I see you in a pretty white dress…”

I smacked her, feeling embarrassed about the thought of myself as the center of attention, and the smack echoed loudly in the room. We laughed, finding it funny, and Nayeon continued the conversation. “I can’t wait. I know that- that we’ll be together anyway, because I love you, but, you know, getting married is a different step, it’s… it’s like- I don’t know, but it’s exciting.”

She was scared to say it, but I knew exactly what she meant. She’d been married before, to Sanggyun, and it had failed, though it wasn’t either of their faults. But it still hurt her all the same. Nayeon must have been extra nervous, scared something bad would happen to our marriage, but I knew in my heart that I’d do anything to make sure we were only ever happy. 

Of course, there would be times where we might not be 100% happy, because no couple was perfect, but we also never fought. We talk things out like normal people do, telling each other what frustrated us and how we could fix it– with our emotions controlled. And that’s why Nayeon was more excited than scared of getting married. Because she trusted me, just as I trusted her, to do what’s right and make sure we were both happy. 

I was going to ask Nayeon if Jihyo was going to be the one taking care of the wedding plans, since that’s what Jihyo dedicated herself to professionally, but when I looked over, her mouth was hanging open and her eyes were closed. She fell asleep so quickly, and _right after she had thought about us getting married._

“Loser.” I tried shutting her mouth, but it kept opening back up, like a broken Nutcracker, so I let her be and turned around to get comfortable in bed, hoping she didn’t kick me in her sleep. Sometimes I woke up on the floor without realizing I had been kicked off in the first place.

  
  
  
The next morning I woke up on the cold carpet, Bam sleeping happily on my chest. Nayeon was sleeping soundly on the bed, rolled up in the blanket like a burrito.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to check out my other works~ Also you can find me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/ANTAGONlSTlC)


	3. Winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, writing gory fanfiction: :I  
> me, writing fluff scenes where two girls are in love: *blushing, nervous, generally crying*

🧣 

“Happy birthday, Sana!” I shouted over our friends as I handed her the gift I had found especially for her. 

Sana jumped up and down excitedly, giggling that giggle that everyone loved so much, then finally settled back down, gently rattling the gift box to hear what was inside. When she couldn’t figure out what it was that I got her, she gave up and opened it, finding the tea set she’d been wanting for  _ ages _ nestled in 10 oh-so-carefully placed newspaper layers.

“I knew you’d rattle it, so I took precautions,” I winked, and after Sana finished laughing, she immediately ran into her kitchen to make some tea and break in her new set.

“Hey,” Momo protested from her spot on the floor, “You haven’t finished opening your presents!” 

Tzuyu silenced her. As both she and Sana were crazed tea lovers, she wanted to break in Sana’s new tea set too. Besides, that day was one of the last days of December. Cold, cold December, when hot tea was a welcome sight.

Daeul got impatient and reached for one of Sana’s unopened presents, but I pulled him back just in time before he could snatch it up. I told him, as careful as possible, “Hey, no, that’s aunt Sana’s. Your birthday will be soon, you’ll get presents then, okay?”

Sana peeked in from the kitchen. “No, it’s okay! He can help me open one present while I’m busy! Just one, though!”

“He can open mine,” Dahyun said as she pushed the glittery red bag closer to him. We were all excited to see what she had gotten her best friend, so we all leaned in to get a better look.

Daeul looked back at me and when I nodded, giving him permission this time, his toddler hands immediately went to work on the gift. He pulled out the box from the bag and untied the bow around it. Before we knew it, in his hands was a pretty faux fur coat, long and golden brown, just like Sana’s current hair color.

“Wow, Dahyunnie,” Mina said, holding her girlfriend, “it’s gorgeous!”

Daeul held up the present and tried to put it on, causing a ruckus in Momo’s living room. The classic coat was obviously much too large for him, fitting Daeul more like a long, long dress. When Sana heard the commotion, she stepped out and snapped pictures of it, cooing at Daeul and telling him how cute he looked in it.

Daeul, now satisfied, sat back down on my lap next to the fireplace.

As we waited for Sana to come back with tea, I took the time to look around, taking in the decorations spread throughout the living room, and,  _ oh yeah,  _ it was totally all Momo’s doing, for sure. There were drawings of presents, a character that looked like Sana hanging from strings, and pretty pink streamers taped to the walls. I had no doubt that Sana loved the decorations. Sana was always proud of her girlfriends’ hard work.

When Sana thought she finished opening all of the presents, Nayeon gently pushed Daeul closer to her. “Wait,” she said, “Daeul has something for you too!” She gave her son another push and he stumbled his way into Sana’s arms. She giggled and pressed kisses onto both of his cheeks. Embarrassed, he handed her an envelope. She opened it to find a drawing inside. It was of her and Momo, drawn in orange and yellow, respectively, holding hands and smiling wide.

Sana picked Daeul up and said  _ “I love it!  _ It’s the cutest thing ever! Let’s put it on the refrigerator with aunt Momo’s drawings, shall we?” Daeul clapped and pointed at the kitchen.

After opening her presents, we had some dessert, made specially by me. It was one of Sana’s favorites, as expected: Yoo Family Apple Pie.

After eating a forkful, Jihyo melted into her seat, a blissful expression on her face. “I don’t know if I did something in a past life to deserve this, but I’m so lucky for having a pro baker as a friend,” she commented as she immediately sat up straight and got another forkful. I blushed down at my cake, pleased by the praise. I thought back to that first night when she hardly even looked in my direction, when I believed I’d have trouble befriending her. 

“What’s got you all smiley?” Tzuyu asked, sending a wink my way. She must’ve seen where my train of thought went.

“Nothing,” I stuttered out. “I’m just...thinking about how lucky Sana is that I love her.” I grimaced at the birthday girl. It was a bad lie, but by everyone’s looks, it sounded convincing enough. “I baked outside of work  _ for you,  _ miss! I really hope you appreciate it, because that’s not happening ever again.”

Sana winked in response as she fed Momo a piece of the pie. “I do appreciate it. And it was so worth it! I mean, look at Jihyo. The stress practically disappeared from her shoulders and face. If that’s not a miracle considering Jihyo is made of stress and worry, then I don’t know what is. Your desserts are like edible  _ therapy _ , Jeongie.”

Trying to take the back-to-back compliments in stride, I turned to Mina, who said “Yeah, that’s true. What’s in it, if you don’t mind me asking?” She had already finished her slice and was reaching for more.

“You mean besides  _ apples?”  _ Chaeyoung teased, her mouth full of the pie.

“Don’t be mean, Chaeng. Mina, this is my dad’s apple pie recipe, which includes walnuts being added into the streusel. It adds  _ something _ to it, I don’t know what, but it’s quite popular at the bakery.”

Everyone hummed their praises, thanking my dad for the genius idea.

After dessert, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu surprised us all by announcing that they had been dating for two months now. Though, to be honest, it wasn’t much of a surprise; we had all kind of figured it out (they had been giving each other  _ those  _ kinds of looks all afternoon). Still, we acted like this was unexpected and all of us cheered as enthusiastically (but quietly) as we could, keeping Daeul’s sound sensitivity in mind. Tzuyu was bright pink and Chaeyoung’s smile was wider than the crescent moon in the sky. It was so dorky that I pulled out my phone to capture it. 

Through the phone camera, I saw Momo and Sana whispering to each other. One of them nodded and together they both rose out of their seats after we all finished congratulating Tzuyu and Chaeyoung. They announced that they were thinking about getting married some time next year. They also wanted to adopt a little girl together, causing Mina to go into Aunt Mode and get excited about having another kid in the family.

At that, Nayeon and I looked at each other, grinning, because we’d been talking for a while about something similar. We wanted to adopt a child and give Daeul a sibling! However, this was still undecided. We’d tell our friends once our plans were more concrete, and  _ after  _ we got married.

❄️

I peeked out from my office, which had a great view of the outside, and caught sight of Chaeyoung’s car.

_ Finally. _

I locked the door behind me and waved goodbye to the employees that were at the registers. 

“Hey, wait!” One of my employees stopped me at the door. It was Jisoo, one of the first people that ever applied to work at my bakery. “Where are you going? You don’t usually leave at this time, Jeongyeon.”

I looked outside and motioned for Chaeyoung to wait a bit. She nodded and parked the car. I walked up to Jisoo, who wasn’t attending any customers at the moment. “Yeah, I don’t, but my friends and I are going to double check to make sure the hall we rented for the wedding reception is good. Nayeon’s nerves are making her paranoid and she begged me to go check and be sure that its large enough to hold the guests.”

“I get that. When my wife and I got married, she was the same! But she just wanted everything to be perfect, so I let it go, even if she gave me a hard time.”

“I know,” I said, thinking about the night before and the talk Nayeon and I had. “I’m not going to hold anything against her.”

Jisoo and I both turned when we heard a customer enter. Quickly, before they reached the register, she said “Good luck, Jeongyeon! Hope everything is well at the hall! Thanks for inviting Jennie and I, by the way! I know it's just gonna be a ceremony and the small surprise, so it means a lot to me!”

“Of course,” I said, just as the bored customer reached the register. “Why wouldn’t I invite one of my most hard working employees? You two are my friends too, Soo.”

She grinned and shooed me away, hating it when I started saying cheesy things.

When I entered Chaeyoung’s car, she asked me why I took so long.

“Oh, I was talking to Jisoo about the hall. You remember Jisoo, right? She’s the employee that you used to have a crush on.” 

Chaeyoung momentarily swerved off the road.

  
  
The hall was, as expected, just fine. Jihyo looked stressed out and not happy about being dragged to a place that she knew was perfectly fine, but she managed to keep her bad mood at bay. She knew that, since we hired her to make preparations for the wedding, she was supposed to be with us every step of the way. 

Once finished, Chaeyoung and I decided to visit the library we used to hang out at. It had a small coffee shop inside it, which served the best hot chocolate around. We invited Jihyo as well, but she rubbed her forehead and turned down the offer.

“No thanks, guys. I’m… admittedly still stressing about the final details of your wedding,” Jihyo said to me, the hint of a rueful smile on her lips. “How about next time? The three of us can hang out then.”

Chaeng and I agreed and waved goodbye as we watched Jihyo leave, then hopped into Chaeng’s car to go to the library.

We each got ourselves a piping hot cup of hot chocolate and sat outside the steps, feeling like the day wasn’t cold enough to stop us from sitting at our favorite steps just outside. 

For a few minutes, neither of us said anything. We just sat in silence, people-watching as the cold wind blew in our ears. After a few minutes of shivering, I sensed Chaeyoung wanted to say something to me. Her eyes would land near me, but she couldn’t seem to go any further than that.

“What’s up?” I asked after seeing that she’d never speak up if I didn’t intervene.

“Umm,” she grumbled, looking deep into her cup. Her face was flushed a lot more than it already had been due to the hot drink. She thought about what she was going to say for a few more seconds before finally asking “So… I’ve been thinking, and I want to ask your opinion on something. Do you think it’s a good idea to study Japanese? I’ve got some plans to become a bigger model, not just in Korea, but maybe...Japan too, you know?”

I took a sip of my drink. This definitely wasn’t what was on her mind, I could tell by how she rushed the second half of that sentence. Still, I decided to bear with her for a moment. “Yeah, of course! Make your plans as big as you want, Chaeng.” Using my free hand, I ruffled her long black hair and continued. “You can ask Sana for help, if you want. I don’t think there’s a better Japanese language professor out there.”

Chaeyoung nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah. You’re right. Thanks, Jeongyeon.”

“No problem, Chaeng,” I replied sincerely.

“You know…,” she began, and I sensed that she was finally going to tell me what was on her mind. I hoped it wasn’t anything too sad. She was an emotional girl, and since I was about to get married, well, she was probably worried about things changing for us. “I’m really glad that you’re still here for me even after things have changed so much.” She stared into the distance, avoiding my eyes. Her empty hand played the hem of her sleeve.

“Hey, of course I’ll always be here for you! What’s wrong?” I slid even closer than I already was to her, bumping my right shoulder to her left one. Her coffee sloshed a little, spilling onto the steps, but she didn’t mind. 

“Even when you’re married?” She asked in a hushed tone. Finally, her eyes slowly traveled to mine, and I saw that there was a tiny bit of fear. I frowned.

“I suppose nothing much is really going to change from here on out, Chaeng. If you really think about it, Nayeon and I have been married for a while now, just without any legal stuff to prove it. That’s the only thing that’s going to change; we’ll be legally bound. Do you feel we’re a lot less closer nowadays?”

Chaeyoung shook her head. “No, I guess not.”

“See? Don’t worry too much about it. Nayeon loves the shit out of you, too, you know, so she wouldn’t let you and I drift apart. In fact, I think she’d be the first to freak out if you and I started drifting apart,” I joked, trying to cheer her up.

Chaeyoung nodded, looking comforted now. After another sip from her drink, she spoke again. “Sorry about that. I’ve just been thinking a lot. Before, I wasn’t too worried about losing you. But now that we’re a month away or so from your wedding, well… I can’t help it. It was just you and me for so long, you know? Then I became friends with Dahyun, and you met Momo, then we merged together and made a large friend group. Then you met Sana at her graduation party, who introduced you to Nayeon, and suddenly, Mina, Jihyo and Tzuyu are added to the mix.”

I was about to ask if she didn’t like having so many friends, but she jumped forward before I could. “And– and it’s great! I actually love having so many friends! I’m glad, don’t– don’t think I’m not. But it happened so quickly. Suddenly, I was busy doing modeling stuff, not able to hang out with you like we used to be able to, and  _ now,  _ you’re getting married. Like...I’m shocked at how fast things have  _ changed.  _ You pretty much have a family now, I have an amazing girlfriend, and it’s- it’s…”

“Wild?” I finished for her after seeing that she didn’t know how to finish. Chaeyoung took a deep breath and nodded, glad I knew what she was trying to get at. “Yeah, things have changed for us, but that’s okay. We’re still the same, Chaeng. You’re still always going to be my best friend forever. That’s why I made you my personal maid of honor, or best man, whatever you call it. That’s always reserved for the closest of friends!”

The sky was darkening but I could see the tears threatening to spill in Chaeyoung’s eyes.  _ Wow,  _ I thought at that moment, she was really worried about me forgetting about her. That pushed me to crush her in a huge hug, which she reciprocated in less than a second. She laughed into my shoulder, her voice sounding free and happy now. 

“You better write the coolest speech ever,” I whispered into her shoulder before letting go. “You’re going to be delivering it in front of twenty people.”

Chaeyoung sniffled a little bit and took her phone out of her coat pocket, wiggling it in front of us. “Are you kidding me? As soon as you gave me the honor, I got to writing it immediately!”

I snatched her phone and tried unlocking it to read her speech when she snatched it right back. “Oh, no you don’t! I’m not even done with it yet. It’s, like, 75% there. It’s still at the lame stages.”

I begged her for a sneak peek, wanting to see how much she’d embarrass me in the speech, but she shook her head adamantly. “Girl! You’re going to be hearing it in less than a month! Can’t you wait?”

I took a deep breath, and with the exhale, I said “Nope!”

Chaeyoung smirked.  _ Got her _ . “Fine, fine. I guess I can give you a slight idea of what you’re going to be dealing with at your wedding.” Chaeyoung paused for a moment, reading her notes, and her face twisted ridiculously as she tried to hold in her laughter.

“What?” I impatiently asked.

“Sorry, I’m just laughing at my own jokes,” she said with a quirk in her voice, “Okay, okay, let me read it to you. Ready? It starts like this…  _ ‘Hey, everybody! I think I should preface this speech by saying…’” _

  
  


🌨 

  
  


“...that I thank you for coming to the wedding! And  _ wow,  _ there are so many of you!” Chaeyoung joked, speaking to the small crowd, making a show of looking around. Most of the people present belonged to our giant friend group, but every now and then her eyes landed on one of my many nieces and nephews and she’d make the ‘sup bro’ head gesture at them. A few members of Nayeon’s family came too, excited to see her finally happily married. We didn’t want too many people, though, as there was no proper reception or anything. “When Nayeon and Jeongyeon first started planning this wedding, they told me how many people were invited– twenty!– and I asked them how they were going to fill in  _ so many _ seats.”

  
Chaeyoung proceeded to tell the crowd about how Nayeon and I only have a total of “like,  _ six _ friends!”, and that  _ of course  _ the rest of the seats are filled with family members. “Glad to see the majority of you showed up! It would have been a shame to have to pay actors to show up and fill the seats so that the wedding videography wasn’t too embarrassing to watch in the years to come.”

Nayeon, despite all the cringing, excitedly leaned close and whispered “She’s killing it! Didn’t you say she was nervous about delivering her speech?” 

“You know how Chaeng is. Just like Normani,” I replied with a shrug, referring to another one of my dearest friends. “Both act so scared before the stage, but as soon as the spotlight is on them, it’s like a spirit possesses them and they act like they own the stage.”

“Well, she’s a natural,” Nayeon said as she looked back at Chaeyoung, who wasn’t quite done with her speech. 

“Also, I think that it’s a good idea to mention that this wedding would have never happened without Sana’s intervention,” Chaeyoung said as she stood in the middle of the hall, pointing at Sana, who sat to Nayeon’s left. “Everybody say ‘Thank you, Sana!’”

I could hear Sana giggling, and as I leaned forward to see her reaction (which I have no doubt everyone else was doing), she hid behind her own hair, shy that all of the attention was now on her.

“Sana wanted the very best cake for her graduation party, and she  _ got  _ the very best: Jeongyeon’s bakery was hired immediately to make a cake to celebrate! And, just as an FYI to all of you that don’t know Sana that well, she’s the friendliest person you’ll ever meet, so of course, she randomly invited the previously unknown baker as an extra show of thanks.” Chaeyoung had everyone laughing with her expressions and gestures. “Jeongyeon was the lucky baker who agreed by chance, and there, she met Sana’s best friend Nayeon. They hit it off immediately, and, well, you guys know the rest!”

Nayeon gently elbowed me, her dazzling eye makeup shining especially brightly with that mischievous look she had. “Remember that night?” she whispered to me as Chaeyoung continued the story for the crowd, but before I could reply, I heard Chaeyoung’s voice boom from the speakers once again, bringing both of our attention back to her.

“I’d also like to say something that isn’t in my notes,” Chaeyoung said, looking directly at me, her eyes full of admiration. I panicked. I had no idea what was going to be said, and prayed it wasn’t about to be anything more embarrassing.

“Recently,” she began, “something happened, and it made me realize just how amazing Jeongyeon is. Nayeon,” Chaeyoung directed the small crowd’s attention to my wife, “You couldn’t be in any better hands than my best friend’s. You see, a month ago, while Jeongyeon was still freaking out about the wedding hall, the decorations, her dress, so on and so forth, something... happened.”

Nayeon reached out and her gloved hand gripped mine tightly.

“Everything was changing so quickly, you see. One moment, it was just me and her against the world, two best friends struggling to make ends meet after high school. Then, suddenly, it felt like in the blink of an eye, Jeongyeon was getting married! I was scared. Scared of everything changing and of losing my best friend. I expressed to her all of this, and though she was going through a crisis of her own, she still listened to me and assured me that nothing would change between us. Not for one moment did she complain that she had worse things to worry about than my silly worries.”

Everyone in the hall turned to me at that moment, I know this, but one particular pair of eyes landed on mine. Nayeon’s smile was full of delight, and it told me she was proud of me. As I smiled back to her, Chaeyoung finished up her speech with a few closing words. 

“If that doesn’t tell you what kind of person Jeongyeon is, doesn’t tell you how  _ selfless  _ she is, then… I don’t know what will. Congratulations, Nayeon and Jeongyeon, really. You’re both such amazing people.”

I don’t know if this is common, to cheer for the maid of honor’s speech, but the people did it. Chaeyoung took her seat to my right, a bright smile on her face. I wrapped my arms around her and wrestled her for a while, unable to express how grateful I was that she spoke so kindly of me to everyone. By the way Chaeyoung wrestled back with a grin on her face, I’d say she knew exactly what I was trying to convey. 

  
  
As one could probably tell, our wedding was like most standard Korean weddings; lightning fast and no reception. There was  _ one little tweak,  _ though. One that was only known by me and the guests, thanks to the wedding invitations Mina printed out for us. 

Our wedding had a small dance section, unbeknownst to Nayeon. 

As a hidden DJ started the music, I saw Nayeon look up from fixing her beautiful dress. I stood up, catching her attention, and she gave me a questioning look. 

With my index finger, I gestured for her to stand up. Sana, next to her, caught on and helped me by gently pressing Nayeon up. 

“What’s going on?” Nayeon asked, clearly very confused. She looked to Sana for an answer, but Sana zipped her lips and motioned for her to follow me. “What’s with the music?”

“Looks like there was a surprise in the schedule, hmm?” I asked, watching her expressions shift from confused to...well, more confused. 

“This song,” she started, noticing what song came on. Frankly, I don’t know what the song name is, but it’s easily recognizable; apparently it’s popular among the gay community. “I know it. It’s a Carly song…and…”

_ And you don’t dance,  _ she was going to say, but she was so lost that she let the sentence drift off.

I extended a hand out to her, feeling the tiniest bit self conscious about what I was doing. I hoped it all went well. “I know. But I wanted to give you this, you know? After refusing you at least one dance for so long, I thought it would be a good idea to do it at our wedding.”

Slowly, Nayeon understood what was going on, and a soft smile spread across her face. She took my hand and allowed me to lead her to the dance floor just large enough for both of us. 

Nayeon took one of my hands and placed another at my waist. She still looked star struck. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” I said reassuringly, “because I know how much you’ve wanted to dance with me. I’m sorry for refusing up to this point.”

Nayeon’s lip quivered. “Yoo Jeongyeon, you are so corny.”

“Try saying that without looking like you’re falling deeper for me next time,” I said, not able to stop my grin. Nayeon curled her fist into a ball and lightly hit me with it, a cute blush forming on her cheeks. We began to sway to the music, which was too poppy for my taste, considering it was a wedding and we were slow dancing, but I suppose, in retrospect, that it was better that way. She clearly liked the song.

“Oh, you– I feel like a teenager again, with this song, and how you’ve been making me blush all day with every single little tease!”

“We’re married now, and surprisingly, it’s a rush. Our emotions are on high today, so maybe that’s why.” Nayeon rested her head on my shoulder as I said that, which I instantly recognized as her way of showing that she really, truly appreciated this gesture. She leaned on me the same way nearly a year ago, when she told me she was happy I was trying my hardest with Daeul. I held her tighter once I realized that.

“So, who taught you how to dance?” Nayeon asked after the song began the final chorus. “I  _ know  _ you didn’t know how to before.”

“Who do you think? Momo, of course,” I snorted, looking briefly to the side to peek at said friend. She was cooing over Daeul with Tzuyu.

“I didn’t know she knew about slow dancing. I thought all she knew was street dancing, like krumping or b-boying.”

“Oh, she didn’t. She watched two videos and  _ then _ figured it out immediately. Turns out it’s not that hard. Well, at least for her. I’m not sure how many times I’ve stepped on your toes already.”

Nayeon laughed and said it wasn’t a big deal, that I could carry her afterward. “I do wanna tell her that I’m thankful, though,” she said, a wistful look in her eye. “I’ve wanted to dance with you for so long, and honestly I gave up hoping you would one day.”

“For how long have you been waiting to dance with me?” I asked, guessing it would be only a few months. She’d only recently mentioned it.

She thought about it, then answered “Since the first time. At Sana’s party. I remember spotting you from the makeshift dance floor, leaning against the wall uncomfortably, drink in your hand to at least make you look busy. You were all alone, and I wanted to ask you to dance because I was sure it would cheer you up.”

I remembered that day very clearly. Sana had invited me and only me, none of the rest of the crew from the bakery, to her graduation party, so I knew absolutely nobody there. I was, as Nayeon had so aptly observed, very miserable. “Glad you didn’t ask me to dance, though, or else you would have been flat-out rejected.”

Nayeon lifted her head off my shoulder and raised a slim eyebrow. “Oh? You would’ve rejected me? The prettiest girl at that party?”

“Yeah,” I admitted, hugging her closer. Her laugh tickled my shoulder. “But hey! Look at us! Now  _ you’re  _ dancing with the prettiest girl at the party.”

Nayeon guffawed at that, breaking away for a few seconds to properly laugh at my well-timed joke, then took my hand and shook her head as she placed her hand at my waist again.

“Jeongyeon.” Nayeon stared at me until I looked into her eyes again. “Jeong, I’m not dancing with the prettiest girl at the party. I’m dancing with the prettiest girl in the whole world.” 

I tried rolling my eyes to feign annoyance, trying to act like that compliment didn’t make my heart dance too, but I felt my ears burn slowly, giving me away for sure. I just hoped the camera crew didn’t capture that. 

“Who’s the corny one now?” I asked in reply, loving the proud smile on her face. It made her eyes sparkle in the dimmed dance floor lights, and she looked much more beautiful. 

“Next time, say that without looking like you’re falling deeper in love with me,” she said, sending me a sly wink before boldly spinning me around. 

Before I could counter, we both felt Daeul tug on our dresses, asking to be held. Nayeon picked him up and squealed happily, asking him if he wanted to dance with us. He didn’t say a word, just hugged her neck, and Nayeon pulled me close again.

I waved my arm to catch the DJ’s attention, asking her to play the same artist, but a different song. She complied, giving me a hearty thumbs up before the next song played, this one much more spirited. I held Nayeon as she held Daeul, and we spun across the dance floor when we could. Sometimes he’d giggle and want to switch between Nayeon and I, but for the most part he wanted me to hold him, which I did happily. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3/4 chapters done! time to work on the final chapter, which is just an epilogue that goes 10 years into the future :o  
> meanwhile feel free to check out my other stories~ see ya!!

**Author's Note:**

> See you in a few months, for the next chapter~  
> Find me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/ANTAGONlSTlC) or send me a question on [curiouscat!](https://curiouscat.me/nabongwater)  
> 


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